Friends and Family,
Hope everyone is enjoying the last day of 2008....mine has been good so far. We will be have some overnight visitor tonight, Kenneth and Kassady-Lynn (my grandchildren) will be staying with us. I get to spend the last day of the year with 'em and the first day of the new year too.
God continaues to bless me and my family in so many ways.
The healing process is continuing well I think. When I excert (little as it may be) myself or walk much I find I pass tiny scabs and clots. I call it "coffee grounds". It is not painful and is probably a good thing to get out of my system. I woke again this morning with a dry pad but once up and especially in the afternoon, control is much more difficult.
Re: hand issues. I will be going next Tuesday for a nerve conduction test. That should confirm whether or not there is a damaged nerve in my arm/hand that causes the pain and numbness. On the 24th I see a hand specialist. Please continue to pray this is a "temporary" thing and normal life is coming soon.
So, I hope everyone has great night, I for one will not likely see the new year arrive. Be safe in your travels. Take the time today to tell someone you love them....I LOVE YOU ALL.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.....GOD BLESS YOU ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
A week of Freedom
Friends,
Good Monday morning to all. I suspect everyone is still recovering from the Christmas hangover (not the drinking kind) and looking forward to seeing the new year in. Today, I am celebrating 1 week of being catheter free and progressing well in the process of returning to normal. Yesterday was a good day at church, got to lead the Sunday School lesson for the first time in about 2 months and enjoyed the services without any "attachments".
No doc visits this week, first time I've had a doc free week in two months. Next week I return to Dr. Polsky for a progress check. I am confident things are going the way they are suppose too. Once again, in the interest of being open and at the risk of being too frank, there are some things worth mentioning for the benefit of those who may be dealing with prostate cancer and/or recovering from treatments.
I wear pads to prevent wetting my clothes. There is some leakage issues (normal) and the later in the day it gets, the worse it becomes. All our muscles get tired by the end of a day. Same is true with bladder and urinary control muscles too. There is some blood in my urine but that too is expected. All in all, while not perfect by any stretch, things are pretty good and I am confident I am on track for a complete recovery and normal functionality. God has begun a healing in me and I know he will complete it! I will admit though, yesterday I watched football for about 6 hours and both the teams I wanted to win, did win (Panthers and Dolphins) and the one I hoped would lose, lost (Cowboys). Sometimes a little too much excitement cause by a great play made the pads come in real handy :-/
As I count down the last few days of 2008, I look back with gratitude for so many wonderful blessings. I have seen some of my worst days but seen even more great days....but those of you who know me already knew that too! For ALL you "special" people who have made my life so good, may God bless you all. I love YOU.
Time for this posting to find a good stopping place. I am told often how so many of you are following this blog. It always makes me smile. I am especially happy when I learn that other men who are faced with a diagnosis of prostate cancer are reading this and finding some comfort in knowing they too will be OK. And not just men, wives and daughters and sister will hopefully see this and learn that prostate cancer is NOT the end to a normal life.
Time to go. Have a wonderful Monday, it will be the last one this year! Thanks for praying for me...don't forget to pray for others who are sick and hurting, homeless and helpless, pray for our children and for each other.
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
Good Monday morning to all. I suspect everyone is still recovering from the Christmas hangover (not the drinking kind) and looking forward to seeing the new year in. Today, I am celebrating 1 week of being catheter free and progressing well in the process of returning to normal. Yesterday was a good day at church, got to lead the Sunday School lesson for the first time in about 2 months and enjoyed the services without any "attachments".
No doc visits this week, first time I've had a doc free week in two months. Next week I return to Dr. Polsky for a progress check. I am confident things are going the way they are suppose too. Once again, in the interest of being open and at the risk of being too frank, there are some things worth mentioning for the benefit of those who may be dealing with prostate cancer and/or recovering from treatments.
I wear pads to prevent wetting my clothes. There is some leakage issues (normal) and the later in the day it gets, the worse it becomes. All our muscles get tired by the end of a day. Same is true with bladder and urinary control muscles too. There is some blood in my urine but that too is expected. All in all, while not perfect by any stretch, things are pretty good and I am confident I am on track for a complete recovery and normal functionality. God has begun a healing in me and I know he will complete it! I will admit though, yesterday I watched football for about 6 hours and both the teams I wanted to win, did win (Panthers and Dolphins) and the one I hoped would lose, lost (Cowboys). Sometimes a little too much excitement cause by a great play made the pads come in real handy :-/
As I count down the last few days of 2008, I look back with gratitude for so many wonderful blessings. I have seen some of my worst days but seen even more great days....but those of you who know me already knew that too! For ALL you "special" people who have made my life so good, may God bless you all. I love YOU.
Time for this posting to find a good stopping place. I am told often how so many of you are following this blog. It always makes me smile. I am especially happy when I learn that other men who are faced with a diagnosis of prostate cancer are reading this and finding some comfort in knowing they too will be OK. And not just men, wives and daughters and sister will hopefully see this and learn that prostate cancer is NOT the end to a normal life.
Time to go. Have a wonderful Monday, it will be the last one this year! Thanks for praying for me...don't forget to pray for others who are sick and hurting, homeless and helpless, pray for our children and for each other.
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
Saturday, December 27, 2008
363 shopping days left til Christmas
Friends
Well, another Christmas has come and gone as we have completed our journey around the sun again. Looking back and reflecting brings many tears, tears of Joy and Sadness, many good times and some not so good. The important thing in all of it though.....WE ARE HERE. We are here, living and loving and laughing. We have been so blessed with this gift we call LIFE and I am glad YOU are a part of mine.....
Five days since the catheter has been removed and all is well so far. I am still seeing some signs of blood and a few tiny speck (probably scabs/clots) in my urine. There has not been any pain to speak of and sleep come fairly easily now. I awake during the night and feel the need to pee and that is a good thing. It indicates the nerves that tell me when I need to go are working. I have to wear pads now and as the days go on, I find my ability to control urination is significantly deminished. I seldom wake with a wet pad but about 3:00 - 4:00 in the afternoon it is very difficult to control. I believe it is getting better and I do my excercises (keegles) and am confident it will all get to normal very soon. Like I said, I do wear pads in my underwear and if I didn't tell you I was wearing anything I don't think you would know. This too I think is difficult for men to do and even more difficult to talk about but for me, it is a way of life for now and is beyond my control so I have no intentions of trying to hide anything.
I have been trying to walk around the neighborhood daily and do as much as I can around the house (cooking, laundry, etc). I do well in the mornings but I run out of steam pretty quickly as the day goes on.
My hand might be just a bit better but is not well by any means. I will be having a nerve conduction test in the coming weeks and have been referred to a hand specialist too.
I trust everyone is still enjoying the holiday season, I am. Got to spend some time with the kids on Christmas Day. Our "beach" friends are at Topsail for New Years, somethings we all usually do together. Had to pass on it this year as a 5 hours drive would be too much for me right now. I do hope and pray that ALL of you have a wonderful new year.
Remember to pray for ALL those who are sick and hurting, the homeless and helpless, for those away from home and loved ones. Pray for all our children and for each other. I Love You ALL
Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me
Mike
Well, another Christmas has come and gone as we have completed our journey around the sun again. Looking back and reflecting brings many tears, tears of Joy and Sadness, many good times and some not so good. The important thing in all of it though.....WE ARE HERE. We are here, living and loving and laughing. We have been so blessed with this gift we call LIFE and I am glad YOU are a part of mine.....
Five days since the catheter has been removed and all is well so far. I am still seeing some signs of blood and a few tiny speck (probably scabs/clots) in my urine. There has not been any pain to speak of and sleep come fairly easily now. I awake during the night and feel the need to pee and that is a good thing. It indicates the nerves that tell me when I need to go are working. I have to wear pads now and as the days go on, I find my ability to control urination is significantly deminished. I seldom wake with a wet pad but about 3:00 - 4:00 in the afternoon it is very difficult to control. I believe it is getting better and I do my excercises (keegles) and am confident it will all get to normal very soon. Like I said, I do wear pads in my underwear and if I didn't tell you I was wearing anything I don't think you would know. This too I think is difficult for men to do and even more difficult to talk about but for me, it is a way of life for now and is beyond my control so I have no intentions of trying to hide anything.
I have been trying to walk around the neighborhood daily and do as much as I can around the house (cooking, laundry, etc). I do well in the mornings but I run out of steam pretty quickly as the day goes on.
My hand might be just a bit better but is not well by any means. I will be having a nerve conduction test in the coming weeks and have been referred to a hand specialist too.
I trust everyone is still enjoying the holiday season, I am. Got to spend some time with the kids on Christmas Day. Our "beach" friends are at Topsail for New Years, somethings we all usually do together. Had to pass on it this year as a 5 hours drive would be too much for me right now. I do hope and pray that ALL of you have a wonderful new year.
Remember to pray for ALL those who are sick and hurting, the homeless and helpless, for those away from home and loved ones. Pray for all our children and for each other. I Love You ALL
Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me
Mike
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas
Friends and Family,
MERRY CHRISTMAS. It's 7:30 am, Christmas Day 2008 and I sit here in front of this computer wondering how I could possibly express by gratitude and appreciation for being alive and well. It is truly a Christmas miracle and I give all the credit to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
My days and nights since Monday when the catheter was removed have all been very good. I have had no issues with pain or discomfort at all. I sleep well now that I am untethered and can drive again too.
I have some "issues" I will talk about later but today I just want to say to ALL of you....
MERRY CHRISTMAS
May all your homes be filled with Peace and Joy, Health and Happiness and Love and Laughter. God Bless you All.
Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me
Mike
MERRY CHRISTMAS. It's 7:30 am, Christmas Day 2008 and I sit here in front of this computer wondering how I could possibly express by gratitude and appreciation for being alive and well. It is truly a Christmas miracle and I give all the credit to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
My days and nights since Monday when the catheter was removed have all been very good. I have had no issues with pain or discomfort at all. I sleep well now that I am untethered and can drive again too.
I have some "issues" I will talk about later but today I just want to say to ALL of you....
MERRY CHRISTMAS
May all your homes be filled with Peace and Joy, Health and Happiness and Love and Laughter. God Bless you All.
Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me
Mike
Monday, December 22, 2008
Oh by the way....
Friends,
How in the world I coulda forgotten this little tid-bit. The blood work I had done last week came back and the P.S.A. count was measured as "UNDETECTABLE". That my friends is wonderful because it indicates that no prostate cell or cancer cell were detected. I will be retested every 3 month for a while but for now let's celebrate I remain cancer free...... GOD IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD !
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
How in the world I coulda forgotten this little tid-bit. The blood work I had done last week came back and the P.S.A. count was measured as "UNDETECTABLE". That my friends is wonderful because it indicates that no prostate cell or cancer cell were detected. I will be retested every 3 month for a while but for now let's celebrate I remain cancer free...... GOD IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD !
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
OH HAPPY DAY !!!!
Friends,
OH HAPPY DAY for sure...after I had my 4th cystogram, the results showed my bladder was about 99% healed and Dr. Plosky said we are taking the catheter out. What an answered prayer. I was honestly a bit downheartened when the radiologist said there was still a very small area of leakage but not so serious that I needed to keep the catheter. Two days short of six weeks...it had gone way past a physical issue to becoming an emotional issue.
Now, I find myself in some more new territory. I have to wear a protective pad in my underwear as I am leaking as a result of losing my ability to control my urine flow. It is normal and will in time and with some therapy (doing keegles) return to normal. My homework is to practice stopping my flow while I am peeing, let go and try to stop it again. Sounds strange I know but will help to rehab and strengthen those muscles used for control during urgency. I have already started doing it and first time out managed to stop and restart two times. WOO HOO.
I go back in two weeks and we will have some discussion about what medications and therapies will be best for continued nerve stimulation and rehabilitation.
Without a doubt this has been the best Christmas gift I could have gotten. Thank you all for your prayers on my behalf. God continues to show up and show off in my life. I Love You ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
OH HAPPY DAY for sure...after I had my 4th cystogram, the results showed my bladder was about 99% healed and Dr. Plosky said we are taking the catheter out. What an answered prayer. I was honestly a bit downheartened when the radiologist said there was still a very small area of leakage but not so serious that I needed to keep the catheter. Two days short of six weeks...it had gone way past a physical issue to becoming an emotional issue.
Now, I find myself in some more new territory. I have to wear a protective pad in my underwear as I am leaking as a result of losing my ability to control my urine flow. It is normal and will in time and with some therapy (doing keegles) return to normal. My homework is to practice stopping my flow while I am peeing, let go and try to stop it again. Sounds strange I know but will help to rehab and strengthen those muscles used for control during urgency. I have already started doing it and first time out managed to stop and restart two times. WOO HOO.
I go back in two weeks and we will have some discussion about what medications and therapies will be best for continued nerve stimulation and rehabilitation.
Without a doubt this has been the best Christmas gift I could have gotten. Thank you all for your prayers on my behalf. God continues to show up and show off in my life. I Love You ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
Sunday, December 21, 2008
3 Shoppings days til Christmas
Friends,
What a beautiful day in Charlotte today....a welcome change from the recent rainy days. Today was another good day at church, I even went to Sunday School. By the end of service I was so ready to come home. The cath bag I use on road trips has to be strapped to my leg. Well, it managed to work it's way loose, lots of ups and downs in church caused it I suspect. Anyway, it was loose and pulling on my cath....the only thing holding it in was the balloon in the bladder. Needless to say I was anxious to get home.
What I thought was an infection starting earlier in the week has not gotten worse. I think it is some "natural" secretions that just happen to become noticeable because of the catheter. It doesn't hurt and with this thing coming out tomorrow, I am confident everything is gonna be OK.
I suspect the coming days will bring many new challenges. With the catheter out there is an expectation of urinary and erectile disfunction. While I love that so many people have been a part of my journey here, my #1 goal is to inform others and their families about Prostate Cancer and treatments. So, I intend to frankly discuss how "things" work, never trying to be crude but always trying to be real and factual. Enuf said 'bout that!
Only three more shopping days til Christmas. I think I am about as ready as I can get. Left hand is not any better, maybe even a bit worse? Going to the ortho doc on Tuesday with a hope that some kind of new treatment will help.
Merry Christmas to you all. May the joys and love and peace of the season fill your homes and hearts.
More tomorrow...til then.... I Love You All.... Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me MR
What a beautiful day in Charlotte today....a welcome change from the recent rainy days. Today was another good day at church, I even went to Sunday School. By the end of service I was so ready to come home. The cath bag I use on road trips has to be strapped to my leg. Well, it managed to work it's way loose, lots of ups and downs in church caused it I suspect. Anyway, it was loose and pulling on my cath....the only thing holding it in was the balloon in the bladder. Needless to say I was anxious to get home.
What I thought was an infection starting earlier in the week has not gotten worse. I think it is some "natural" secretions that just happen to become noticeable because of the catheter. It doesn't hurt and with this thing coming out tomorrow, I am confident everything is gonna be OK.
I suspect the coming days will bring many new challenges. With the catheter out there is an expectation of urinary and erectile disfunction. While I love that so many people have been a part of my journey here, my #1 goal is to inform others and their families about Prostate Cancer and treatments. So, I intend to frankly discuss how "things" work, never trying to be crude but always trying to be real and factual. Enuf said 'bout that!
Only three more shopping days til Christmas. I think I am about as ready as I can get. Left hand is not any better, maybe even a bit worse? Going to the ortho doc on Tuesday with a hope that some kind of new treatment will help.
Merry Christmas to you all. May the joys and love and peace of the season fill your homes and hearts.
More tomorrow...til then.... I Love You All.... Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me MR
Friday, December 19, 2008
Friday, December 19th
Friends,
Hey..last Friday before Christmas! Next week this time we will all be on a Christmas hangover. I'm sure I will be asking when can we take the tree down? Seriously, I hope it is a wonderful week for everyone and we get closer to the birthday party for our Lord.
Today I go and have blood drawn to check my P.S.A. Funny thing about that is I should NOT have any measureable P.S.A. Should the test return with any result other than "None Detectable" it is not a good sign. That can indicate that cancer cells from the prostate are in my body and may (not necessarily will) be a source of cancer in some other organ or area of my body. I believe, God will finish the healing He has begun and it will all be OK. Please continue to remember me in your prayers. Statistically, 28,000 men will die of prostate cancer this year!
I am still experiencing some issues, there is some minor sepage from the end of my penis where the cath goes in. I don't want to think it is puss although it looks very much like it could be. I have no fever, no redness so I am thinking it is just a natural discharge from the ointment I use as well as normal body fluids. No, I have not gotten my medical degree in the past 5 weeks but will say I have kept myself pretty informed about what is going on with my old body. Once this cath is removed and natural processes can resume, I am confident things will grow closer to normal in just a few days.
My hand is no better yet, I go back and see my ortho doc on Tuesday. Doc Polsky's office just called to remind me of my appointment on Monday -- like I would forget that ! Told her I am bringing a fork to the office with me...and telling the doc he can put it in this catheter ...cause I am DONE !
Guess it is time to get off for today. I hope you all have a great weekend, I am looking forward to it too. Please remember me and my family in your prayers, prayer for those who are sick and hurting, the homeless and the hopeless, for those away from home and family this time of year. Pray for our children and each other.
Thank you ALL so much....Merry Christmas...I LOVE YOU ALL....
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me" Mike
Hey..last Friday before Christmas! Next week this time we will all be on a Christmas hangover. I'm sure I will be asking when can we take the tree down? Seriously, I hope it is a wonderful week for everyone and we get closer to the birthday party for our Lord.
Today I go and have blood drawn to check my P.S.A. Funny thing about that is I should NOT have any measureable P.S.A. Should the test return with any result other than "None Detectable" it is not a good sign. That can indicate that cancer cells from the prostate are in my body and may (not necessarily will) be a source of cancer in some other organ or area of my body. I believe, God will finish the healing He has begun and it will all be OK. Please continue to remember me in your prayers. Statistically, 28,000 men will die of prostate cancer this year!
I am still experiencing some issues, there is some minor sepage from the end of my penis where the cath goes in. I don't want to think it is puss although it looks very much like it could be. I have no fever, no redness so I am thinking it is just a natural discharge from the ointment I use as well as normal body fluids. No, I have not gotten my medical degree in the past 5 weeks but will say I have kept myself pretty informed about what is going on with my old body. Once this cath is removed and natural processes can resume, I am confident things will grow closer to normal in just a few days.
My hand is no better yet, I go back and see my ortho doc on Tuesday. Doc Polsky's office just called to remind me of my appointment on Monday -- like I would forget that ! Told her I am bringing a fork to the office with me...and telling the doc he can put it in this catheter ...cause I am DONE !
Guess it is time to get off for today. I hope you all have a great weekend, I am looking forward to it too. Please remember me and my family in your prayers, prayer for those who are sick and hurting, the homeless and the hopeless, for those away from home and family this time of year. Pray for our children and each other.
Thank you ALL so much....Merry Christmas...I LOVE YOU ALL....
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me" Mike
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
5 Week Annivesary
Friends,
Today is 5 weeks since the surgery! Amazing how time flies huh?
Today was not one of my better days. I am still experiencing some discomfort where the cath goes in. Called the doc's office to see what might be going on. They told me to limit my activities (Brenda laughed) and to limit the use of the lidocane gel as overuse can cause some irritation. So......guess I will slack off on it and try not to do to much til next week. With the weather we have been having it gives me a good excuse to stay in but am so hopeful that next week I can get out some and walk.
Some of you have asked for pictures. They are coming, just need to take the time to do it but promise I will.
Hope everyone has had a good "hump" day. One week from today is Christmas Eve.
Thank you for your love and prayers.....I Love You ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me" Mike
Today is 5 weeks since the surgery! Amazing how time flies huh?
Today was not one of my better days. I am still experiencing some discomfort where the cath goes in. Called the doc's office to see what might be going on. They told me to limit my activities (Brenda laughed) and to limit the use of the lidocane gel as overuse can cause some irritation. So......guess I will slack off on it and try not to do to much til next week. With the weather we have been having it gives me a good excuse to stay in but am so hopeful that next week I can get out some and walk.
Some of you have asked for pictures. They are coming, just need to take the time to do it but promise I will.
Hope everyone has had a good "hump" day. One week from today is Christmas Eve.
Thank you for your love and prayers.....I Love You ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me" Mike
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I Love Tuesday mornings
Friends,
Happy Tuesday! I love Tuesdays. For those of you who know me well know that Tuesdays start at IHOP with our men's bible study group. I have missed it for 5 weeks now and today I got to go back. Donnie picked me up and Wayne brought me home..it was great!
My day did start a bit tough tho...about 2:00am was up feeling some pressure and we ended up flushing my catheter. There was no blockage but it felt funny and honestly I got a little bit paranoid fearing another episode was starting. Back in bed around 3:00, I fell asleep and everything was and is still OK. I do feel some discomfort and tenderness but have attributed it to having this cath for 5 weeks now. Actually tomorrow will be the 5 week anniversary.
Managed to do a load of laundry and prepared dinner again but that pretty much does me in. I am still sorta amazed as to how little strength and endurance I have. Hopefully next week I can start some walking and getting stronger? Did I tell ya'll I lost some tonnage...20+ lbs. I hope I don't find 'em again. Would be nice to lose about 20 more and go into summer about 50 lbs less than last year.
I trust your Christmas shopping is almost done. I think mine is but then again I didn't have anything to buy. B love Christmas and loves shopping and it works for me.
Time to settle in for the night now, do some TV and think about what tomorrow will bring.
Please continue to pray for all those who are sick and hurting, the homeless and hopeless, for those away from their homes and families. Pray for our children and for each other. Thank You..... I Love You ALL
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me" Mike
Happy Tuesday! I love Tuesdays. For those of you who know me well know that Tuesdays start at IHOP with our men's bible study group. I have missed it for 5 weeks now and today I got to go back. Donnie picked me up and Wayne brought me home..it was great!
My day did start a bit tough tho...about 2:00am was up feeling some pressure and we ended up flushing my catheter. There was no blockage but it felt funny and honestly I got a little bit paranoid fearing another episode was starting. Back in bed around 3:00, I fell asleep and everything was and is still OK. I do feel some discomfort and tenderness but have attributed it to having this cath for 5 weeks now. Actually tomorrow will be the 5 week anniversary.
Managed to do a load of laundry and prepared dinner again but that pretty much does me in. I am still sorta amazed as to how little strength and endurance I have. Hopefully next week I can start some walking and getting stronger? Did I tell ya'll I lost some tonnage...20+ lbs. I hope I don't find 'em again. Would be nice to lose about 20 more and go into summer about 50 lbs less than last year.
I trust your Christmas shopping is almost done. I think mine is but then again I didn't have anything to buy. B love Christmas and loves shopping and it works for me.
Time to settle in for the night now, do some TV and think about what tomorrow will bring.
Please continue to pray for all those who are sick and hurting, the homeless and hopeless, for those away from their homes and families. Pray for our children and for each other. Thank You..... I Love You ALL
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me" Mike
Monday, December 15, 2008
Monday Monday
Friends,
When I wrote the title down above..."Monday Monday" it reminded me of the song by the Mommas and Papas. How wierd is that! Yesterday was a great day, got out and did church and got to see alot of folks I hadnt seen in weeks..it was real good seeing everyone. Many hand shakes and hugs and reminders of how much I have been prayed for.
Today has been OK, feeling a little pressure in my cath but the flow is OK and so I don't think anything is wrong? It makes a big difference when I use the small bag -vs- the bigger one. One more week to go.
Got the dreaded hospital bill today, one of 'em atleast. I wont tell ya how much it is but I could buy 30 cars like my first one I got in 1971. Praise the Lord for good insurance!
No new news today, hand is still the same and everything else is status quo for now. I am tired and think I might have done a bit too much yesterday...still don't have all my strength back.
Hope it is a good day for everyone. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I LOVE YOU ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
When I wrote the title down above..."Monday Monday" it reminded me of the song by the Mommas and Papas. How wierd is that! Yesterday was a great day, got out and did church and got to see alot of folks I hadnt seen in weeks..it was real good seeing everyone. Many hand shakes and hugs and reminders of how much I have been prayed for.
Today has been OK, feeling a little pressure in my cath but the flow is OK and so I don't think anything is wrong? It makes a big difference when I use the small bag -vs- the bigger one. One more week to go.
Got the dreaded hospital bill today, one of 'em atleast. I wont tell ya how much it is but I could buy 30 cars like my first one I got in 1971. Praise the Lord for good insurance!
No new news today, hand is still the same and everything else is status quo for now. I am tired and think I might have done a bit too much yesterday...still don't have all my strength back.
Hope it is a good day for everyone. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I LOVE YOU ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Sunday, December 14th
Friends and Family,
Today is an exciting day....I'm going to church today for the first time in several weeks. Don't have to leave for an hour yet and I'm already dressed and ready to go. A part of me feels this will be an emotional day....back to church for the first time in a long time, this afternoon we plan to visit Lisa and her family at the funeral home and pay our respects in the passing of her mother Mary and then tonight, the choir (my choir) is having their Christmas concert. I will certainly miss being a part of it but will accept my role as supporter with joy and gladness. I have told some of you that I feel my struggles now are more emotional than physical. Don't get me wrong, I still feel hindered with the catheter and there are times when it hurts badly but those time are fewer each day. Sleep does not come easy and I am often awake and see the clock changing at 12:00 and everyhour til 4:00..... but then sleep will come and I can get up and see the light of day and rejoice that God has given me one more day to enjoy this journey we call life.
Yesterday I had a wonderful surprise....a visit from Ardy and Michelle Skidmore and Jennifer Hupko. They needed to take care of some Chrysalis business with B and I got to have some company. Before they left we all held hands and prayed....God just keeps showing up in my life in so many unexpected way. Thank you ladies for being God's hands and feet to me and others.
Dean and Rita made it home (to Momma and Daddy's) yesterday...just in time to go to the hospital with Daddy. He was having some pain and difficulty in raising his arms. The docs said it is likely a pulled muscle and gave him some meds and sent them all home. Daddy and I have joked on the phone that the "Raynor Men" are having a hard time lately. (By the way..Dean is my brother and Rita his wife)
Today is my youngest grandaughter's (Mary Katherine) birthday, she is 7 years old. Wish we could have shared it with her and the family but we had a good time two weeks ago and will hope that next year we can celebrate her on her day.
It is only 11 days til Christmas...hard to believe it is here already. We made candy yesterday (I had a very small contribution to that process) and will likely do more this week. We will have to get our gifts to the family in the mail this week as we are not travelling over the holidays.
For all who share this journey with me, thank you again for your support and prayers. It is my sincerest prayer that God may use me to help some others who may face prostate cancer. I know some of you have shared this blog with others and that truly blesses me.
I pray you are all well, you are happy and healthy and surrounded by those you love and who love you. May the joys of Christmas fill you hearts and homes. I Love You All....
"Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me...."
Mike
Today is an exciting day....I'm going to church today for the first time in several weeks. Don't have to leave for an hour yet and I'm already dressed and ready to go. A part of me feels this will be an emotional day....back to church for the first time in a long time, this afternoon we plan to visit Lisa and her family at the funeral home and pay our respects in the passing of her mother Mary and then tonight, the choir (my choir) is having their Christmas concert. I will certainly miss being a part of it but will accept my role as supporter with joy and gladness. I have told some of you that I feel my struggles now are more emotional than physical. Don't get me wrong, I still feel hindered with the catheter and there are times when it hurts badly but those time are fewer each day. Sleep does not come easy and I am often awake and see the clock changing at 12:00 and everyhour til 4:00..... but then sleep will come and I can get up and see the light of day and rejoice that God has given me one more day to enjoy this journey we call life.
Yesterday I had a wonderful surprise....a visit from Ardy and Michelle Skidmore and Jennifer Hupko. They needed to take care of some Chrysalis business with B and I got to have some company. Before they left we all held hands and prayed....God just keeps showing up in my life in so many unexpected way. Thank you ladies for being God's hands and feet to me and others.
Dean and Rita made it home (to Momma and Daddy's) yesterday...just in time to go to the hospital with Daddy. He was having some pain and difficulty in raising his arms. The docs said it is likely a pulled muscle and gave him some meds and sent them all home. Daddy and I have joked on the phone that the "Raynor Men" are having a hard time lately. (By the way..Dean is my brother and Rita his wife)
Today is my youngest grandaughter's (Mary Katherine) birthday, she is 7 years old. Wish we could have shared it with her and the family but we had a good time two weeks ago and will hope that next year we can celebrate her on her day.
It is only 11 days til Christmas...hard to believe it is here already. We made candy yesterday (I had a very small contribution to that process) and will likely do more this week. We will have to get our gifts to the family in the mail this week as we are not travelling over the holidays.
For all who share this journey with me, thank you again for your support and prayers. It is my sincerest prayer that God may use me to help some others who may face prostate cancer. I know some of you have shared this blog with others and that truly blesses me.
I pray you are all well, you are happy and healthy and surrounded by those you love and who love you. May the joys of Christmas fill you hearts and homes. I Love You All....
"Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me...."
Mike
Friday, December 12, 2008
Friday again...
Friends,
TGIF....for all you working folks. Hope it was a good week and you have plans for a good weekend. Today has been a pretty good day for me. It took me all day but I managed to get the laundry pretty much caught up and prepared a meatloaf for dinner....just had my bath and I am exhausted! I hope to be able to get out some next week and start working on my strength and endurance...I get tired pretty easily.
My stomach is all healed up as far as I can tell, atleast on the outside. I still dont do alot of stretching but am sure that too will come in time. Finally broke down and called the doc for something to help me sleep and help me it did...slept good last nite and plan on it tonight too.
I continue to be surprised by God showing up in so many ways and places. Cards and calls continue to bring joy in my life and remind me of how good I do have it. For those of you who post comments here, thanks...I love seeing them too.
Guess it is about time to finish up and settle in to see what is on nighttime TV. The hand is better I think but typing alot gets it all riled up.
I hope all of you are having a wonderful and joyous holiday season. I am so thankful for the reason for the season and for so many wonderful people who call me friend...thank you.
Pray for all those who are sick and hurting, for the homeless and for each other. I Love You
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me" MR
TGIF....for all you working folks. Hope it was a good week and you have plans for a good weekend. Today has been a pretty good day for me. It took me all day but I managed to get the laundry pretty much caught up and prepared a meatloaf for dinner....just had my bath and I am exhausted! I hope to be able to get out some next week and start working on my strength and endurance...I get tired pretty easily.
My stomach is all healed up as far as I can tell, atleast on the outside. I still dont do alot of stretching but am sure that too will come in time. Finally broke down and called the doc for something to help me sleep and help me it did...slept good last nite and plan on it tonight too.
I continue to be surprised by God showing up in so many ways and places. Cards and calls continue to bring joy in my life and remind me of how good I do have it. For those of you who post comments here, thanks...I love seeing them too.
Guess it is about time to finish up and settle in to see what is on nighttime TV. The hand is better I think but typing alot gets it all riled up.
I hope all of you are having a wonderful and joyous holiday season. I am so thankful for the reason for the season and for so many wonderful people who call me friend...thank you.
Pray for all those who are sick and hurting, for the homeless and for each other. I Love You
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me" MR
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Just taking another deep breath.....
Friends and Family,
Sorry I did not get a post done yesterday....just was not as good a day as I had hoped it would be. I suspect you may have guessed, the catheter DID NOT come out. Initial indications from the cytogram was there were no leaks in the bladder at the surgical site, but looking real close, like doctors are obviously trained to do, there was one very tiny spot there. I told myself I was not going to get excited about the prospect of having it finally removed once and for all but in honesty I guess I did. It is no longer a physical struggle for me but more of an emotional struggle. Donna said to me a few weeks ago after church, "it's tough being tough isn't it".....I'm thinking you are right Donna! I have my little melt downs, actually 3 of 'em yesterday. I have got to start living my life WITH this catheter and not allowing it to be my excuse for not living life wide open, the way I used to be. Yesterday we went for the x-ray, came home for a rest, went to see Doc Polsky and then a haircut and then for something to eat and then home. I was exhausted but I did it and today, in just about an hour, Donnie is gonna pick me up and we are gonna meet Jerry and have breakfast together. Everyone is so supportive and caring and I am so grateful for all of you and your prayers. Talked with Daddy last night, they were anxious to know what the doc said and when I told him, he got upset too and apologized for not being here to support me. My Daddy said he just wished he could reach out and touch me......of course that sent me into emotional overload. They have so much going on with themselves and other family members who have been hospitalized and I know the trip here would be a huge drain on them and I'm OK with them not coming. Dean and Rita are coming to visit them this weekend and I hope that will take some of their focus off me and on enjoying them.
There is not a day goes by that I don't get a card or a call or someone will touch my hand and say we are praying for you. That means more than I can begin to express here. It is only because of your support that I am doing as well as I am now. I know God will complete the healing he has begun in me, and it will be in His time, not mine...funny how God works that way huh?
Starting today I am gonna do better, I am gonna live life as well as I can right now, catheter and all and I am gonna be confident the each day will get better. I have a catheter but I am CANCER FREE...how good is that! Im sure there are hospitals and hospice centers that are full of people who would trade lives with me in a second. I'm not trading but I will be praying for them.
This week I am going to church and I am gonna go see my choir, that I love and miss so much, in concert with Asbury's choir, present a Christmas program. I know they will be wonderful and hopefully I will get back there with them soon.
I remind myself daily of what Teresa Auten said to me one day...."God doesn't expect you to be successful all the time, He just expects you to be faithful". Teresa, your words, God's reminder have gotten me through some tough times....thank you.
Today I begin my 5th week post surgery and cancer free. I want to live more of today than I did yesterday and hopefully tomorrow I will live even more of it than today. I may get sad, or frustrated or may even cry...but that'll be OK too I suppose.
It's almost 6:30 and my ride will be here soon to take me to breakfast. I hope all of you have a wonderful day. I hope God will show His face to you as he does to me everyday in so many different ways. Please join me in praying for all that are sick and hurting, the homeless and downhearted. Pray for each other and tell at least one person today you love them. If you know of a brother struggling with prostate cancer, please tell them about this blog or give them my number and tell them to call me anytime. Know that I love you all and thank you for sharing this journey with me......
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
Sorry I did not get a post done yesterday....just was not as good a day as I had hoped it would be. I suspect you may have guessed, the catheter DID NOT come out. Initial indications from the cytogram was there were no leaks in the bladder at the surgical site, but looking real close, like doctors are obviously trained to do, there was one very tiny spot there. I told myself I was not going to get excited about the prospect of having it finally removed once and for all but in honesty I guess I did. It is no longer a physical struggle for me but more of an emotional struggle. Donna said to me a few weeks ago after church, "it's tough being tough isn't it".....I'm thinking you are right Donna! I have my little melt downs, actually 3 of 'em yesterday. I have got to start living my life WITH this catheter and not allowing it to be my excuse for not living life wide open, the way I used to be. Yesterday we went for the x-ray, came home for a rest, went to see Doc Polsky and then a haircut and then for something to eat and then home. I was exhausted but I did it and today, in just about an hour, Donnie is gonna pick me up and we are gonna meet Jerry and have breakfast together. Everyone is so supportive and caring and I am so grateful for all of you and your prayers. Talked with Daddy last night, they were anxious to know what the doc said and when I told him, he got upset too and apologized for not being here to support me. My Daddy said he just wished he could reach out and touch me......of course that sent me into emotional overload. They have so much going on with themselves and other family members who have been hospitalized and I know the trip here would be a huge drain on them and I'm OK with them not coming. Dean and Rita are coming to visit them this weekend and I hope that will take some of their focus off me and on enjoying them.
There is not a day goes by that I don't get a card or a call or someone will touch my hand and say we are praying for you. That means more than I can begin to express here. It is only because of your support that I am doing as well as I am now. I know God will complete the healing he has begun in me, and it will be in His time, not mine...funny how God works that way huh?
Starting today I am gonna do better, I am gonna live life as well as I can right now, catheter and all and I am gonna be confident the each day will get better. I have a catheter but I am CANCER FREE...how good is that! Im sure there are hospitals and hospice centers that are full of people who would trade lives with me in a second. I'm not trading but I will be praying for them.
This week I am going to church and I am gonna go see my choir, that I love and miss so much, in concert with Asbury's choir, present a Christmas program. I know they will be wonderful and hopefully I will get back there with them soon.
I remind myself daily of what Teresa Auten said to me one day...."God doesn't expect you to be successful all the time, He just expects you to be faithful". Teresa, your words, God's reminder have gotten me through some tough times....thank you.
Today I begin my 5th week post surgery and cancer free. I want to live more of today than I did yesterday and hopefully tomorrow I will live even more of it than today. I may get sad, or frustrated or may even cry...but that'll be OK too I suppose.
It's almost 6:30 and my ride will be here soon to take me to breakfast. I hope all of you have a wonderful day. I hope God will show His face to you as he does to me everyday in so many different ways. Please join me in praying for all that are sick and hurting, the homeless and downhearted. Pray for each other and tell at least one person today you love them. If you know of a brother struggling with prostate cancer, please tell them about this blog or give them my number and tell them to call me anytime. Know that I love you all and thank you for sharing this journey with me......
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Tuesday, Day #27
Friends and Family,
Happy Tuesday, day number 27 in this journey. Yesterday was my day with the ortho doc to see what is going on with my left hand. Well, I guess my self diagnosis was wrong and the doc says the ulnar nerve is damaged but not because of attempts to start a new I.V. He say this type injury occurs most in folks who are in bed alot. He says that laying propped up on your elbows or using your elbows to manuver in bed. I reckon I fall in that category as the surgery left my stomach muscles too sore to use to pull myself up. Anyway, I have a topical steroid cream and a steroid pack to take over the next six days and a pad to wear over this nerve area of my arm. Can't really tell any difference yet but am hopeful it will get better soon.
Had a good day yesterday and slept pretty good last night too. Maybe I have just learn to live with this catheter? I am hopeful it can be removed tomorrow but refuse to get amped up about just in case it doesn't happen.
Looks like it is gonna be a rainy day in Charlotte today? Good thing I didn't have plans to work outside today huh?
Remember to pray for all those who are sick and hurting, pray for each other too. Thank you for your prayers for me and mine....and for taking this journey with me...you're the best!
I Love You All................ "Thank You Lord for Your blessings on Me"
Mike
Happy Tuesday, day number 27 in this journey. Yesterday was my day with the ortho doc to see what is going on with my left hand. Well, I guess my self diagnosis was wrong and the doc says the ulnar nerve is damaged but not because of attempts to start a new I.V. He say this type injury occurs most in folks who are in bed alot. He says that laying propped up on your elbows or using your elbows to manuver in bed. I reckon I fall in that category as the surgery left my stomach muscles too sore to use to pull myself up. Anyway, I have a topical steroid cream and a steroid pack to take over the next six days and a pad to wear over this nerve area of my arm. Can't really tell any difference yet but am hopeful it will get better soon.
Had a good day yesterday and slept pretty good last night too. Maybe I have just learn to live with this catheter? I am hopeful it can be removed tomorrow but refuse to get amped up about just in case it doesn't happen.
Looks like it is gonna be a rainy day in Charlotte today? Good thing I didn't have plans to work outside today huh?
Remember to pray for all those who are sick and hurting, pray for each other too. Thank you for your prayers for me and mine....and for taking this journey with me...you're the best!
I Love You All................ "Thank You Lord for Your blessings on Me"
Mike
Monday, December 8, 2008
Monday, December 8th
Hello again Friends and Family,
WoW...slept in til almost 9:00 this morning. If you know me, you know that is way out of character for me but man o man was it good. I feel better this morning than I have in a long time. My hand was hurting so bad yesterday I took some percoset ...... IT WORKED !
Going to the ortho doc this afternoon and am expecting to get a cortisone injection.
Got the Christmas tree decorated this weekend. I was not in much of a mood for it but did contribute some I guess and it is beautiful. Since we are going to be staying close to home for the holidays it would only be right to have a tree.
Preacher Rick came for a visit yesterday too. I had the chance to talk to him about my issues with the Faith -vs- Fear thing. He has preached and I have read and understand that faith and fear cannot live in the same place, I have struggled with it alot lately too. My fear of facing the pain I did when blood clots were obstructing my catheter, left me doubting my committment to my faith. I think I got a better grip now on what the real issue is. Fear is OK and actually quite normal, fear of pain or of danger.... facing that fear with faith is the part that matters most. I think now I understand that I can face that fear, the fear of pain or suffering or loss with faith that God will get me through it! I am still trying to get my head wrapped all the way around it but for now, I feel much better about it.
I think one of the greatest blessings I have gotten through this is that I may one day be able to help a brother going through prostate cancer treatments. Can't believe there is much I have not experienced?
I have no new news to tell you about except that today is another beautiful day and I feel better today than I have in a long time....God is sooooooooooooooo good to me.
Will let everyone know what the doc says today, please pray he can fix this old hand. Wednesday is the day I hope to get rid of the catheter but am not thinking on it too much so I won't have to be disappointed again.
I hope it is a great Monday for all of you. Thank you for sharing this journey with me, it means more than I could ever express in words. Pray for all those who are sick and hurting and for each other.
Merry Christmas everybody.......I Love You All
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
WoW...slept in til almost 9:00 this morning. If you know me, you know that is way out of character for me but man o man was it good. I feel better this morning than I have in a long time. My hand was hurting so bad yesterday I took some percoset ...... IT WORKED !
Going to the ortho doc this afternoon and am expecting to get a cortisone injection.
Got the Christmas tree decorated this weekend. I was not in much of a mood for it but did contribute some I guess and it is beautiful. Since we are going to be staying close to home for the holidays it would only be right to have a tree.
Preacher Rick came for a visit yesterday too. I had the chance to talk to him about my issues with the Faith -vs- Fear thing. He has preached and I have read and understand that faith and fear cannot live in the same place, I have struggled with it alot lately too. My fear of facing the pain I did when blood clots were obstructing my catheter, left me doubting my committment to my faith. I think I got a better grip now on what the real issue is. Fear is OK and actually quite normal, fear of pain or of danger.... facing that fear with faith is the part that matters most. I think now I understand that I can face that fear, the fear of pain or suffering or loss with faith that God will get me through it! I am still trying to get my head wrapped all the way around it but for now, I feel much better about it.
I think one of the greatest blessings I have gotten through this is that I may one day be able to help a brother going through prostate cancer treatments. Can't believe there is much I have not experienced?
I have no new news to tell you about except that today is another beautiful day and I feel better today than I have in a long time....God is sooooooooooooooo good to me.
Will let everyone know what the doc says today, please pray he can fix this old hand. Wednesday is the day I hope to get rid of the catheter but am not thinking on it too much so I won't have to be disappointed again.
I hope it is a great Monday for all of you. Thank you for sharing this journey with me, it means more than I could ever express in words. Pray for all those who are sick and hurting and for each other.
Merry Christmas everybody.......I Love You All
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
Friday, December 5, 2008
TGIF 3 weeks and 2 days past surgery
Hello Friends,
Hope all is well with your and yours....sorry I was in a whiny mood yesterday but am better today. Slept really good (percoset is a great drug). Is a beautiful day today in Charlotte.
Yesterday I recieved a package in the mail....my blue ribbon pins and a roll of embroidered blue ribbons. My friend Ginger in Ohio sent me a cap with a blue ribbon embroidered on it and when I get around to it am gonna get a new picture on here.
By the way, I can tell many of you have been praying for me to feel better emotionally. I woke this morning with a new attitude and willingness to "stretch" out a bit even with my little friend...so, THANK YOU. Was told there might be some emotional stuff to deal with so I think it is safe to say I got to that point, good news is, I am cruising right on past it now!
No big plans for the weekend, B cancelled her trip to Florida to see her family. I encouraged her to go, that I would be OK but she wouldn't feel right leaving and if I got into trouble with a blockage or something....well, you know. I am thinking there is some christmas tree decorating in my future over the next coupla days? I can do anything from eye level to knee level...the rest is out of my reach limits!
I honestly dont have any real news. Things are staying pretty consistent right now. My bladder is healing and there has not been any blood in my urine for 4 days now. At the entry point (try to word it delicately) of my catheter there is some blood and minor irritation. A couple of "daubs" of some lidocaine gel usually does the trick. Hand is still bad but have an appointment with the ortho doc on Monday.
Time to go for now I reckon. As you continue to pray for me and my family, please lift up ALL those who are sick and hurting today, the homeless and helpless. Thank you all for caring and sharing and loving me.
I love you too !
" Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
Hope all is well with your and yours....sorry I was in a whiny mood yesterday but am better today. Slept really good (percoset is a great drug). Is a beautiful day today in Charlotte.
Yesterday I recieved a package in the mail....my blue ribbon pins and a roll of embroidered blue ribbons. My friend Ginger in Ohio sent me a cap with a blue ribbon embroidered on it and when I get around to it am gonna get a new picture on here.
By the way, I can tell many of you have been praying for me to feel better emotionally. I woke this morning with a new attitude and willingness to "stretch" out a bit even with my little friend...so, THANK YOU. Was told there might be some emotional stuff to deal with so I think it is safe to say I got to that point, good news is, I am cruising right on past it now!
No big plans for the weekend, B cancelled her trip to Florida to see her family. I encouraged her to go, that I would be OK but she wouldn't feel right leaving and if I got into trouble with a blockage or something....well, you know. I am thinking there is some christmas tree decorating in my future over the next coupla days? I can do anything from eye level to knee level...the rest is out of my reach limits!
I honestly dont have any real news. Things are staying pretty consistent right now. My bladder is healing and there has not been any blood in my urine for 4 days now. At the entry point (try to word it delicately) of my catheter there is some blood and minor irritation. A couple of "daubs" of some lidocaine gel usually does the trick. Hand is still bad but have an appointment with the ortho doc on Monday.
Time to go for now I reckon. As you continue to pray for me and my family, please lift up ALL those who are sick and hurting today, the homeless and helpless. Thank you all for caring and sharing and loving me.
I love you too !
" Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Ready, Set, ........DON'T GO !
Friends,
Well, today was the day, after 22 days with this catheter I was finally going to be emancipated. Went to the hospital for my second cystogram and then to the doc where I hoped to leave my little friend behind. DIDN'T HAPPEN ! Seems there is still a small area at the base of my bladder that has not healed yet. To say I am disappointed would be a gross understatement. It seems it has become more of a mental and emotional struggle now. The physical pain lessens everyday and is manageable. The struggle of dealing with my limitations with this appendage I have following me around get more and more difficult with each waking minute.
OK...done venting for awhile. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. B has had to cancel a trip to Florida and her nephew's birthday party. I said I'd be alright but she won't think of leaving now. The docs say it will heal and I will be OK but it is taking time....nothing has gone according to plan and I am beginning to think planning anything is an excercise in futility.
Good news is, the healing process is working and I am cancer free....what a blessing THAT is.
I have my friends and family who love me so much and while Im pretty sad and even a bit pissed off right now, I am so blessed and so fortunate.
My hand has given out again so I can stop whining in this message. Know I love you and appreciate you so much. Please continue to keep me and all who are sick and hurting and their families in your prayers. You are the greatest !
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me" Mike
Well, today was the day, after 22 days with this catheter I was finally going to be emancipated. Went to the hospital for my second cystogram and then to the doc where I hoped to leave my little friend behind. DIDN'T HAPPEN ! Seems there is still a small area at the base of my bladder that has not healed yet. To say I am disappointed would be a gross understatement. It seems it has become more of a mental and emotional struggle now. The physical pain lessens everyday and is manageable. The struggle of dealing with my limitations with this appendage I have following me around get more and more difficult with each waking minute.
OK...done venting for awhile. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. B has had to cancel a trip to Florida and her nephew's birthday party. I said I'd be alright but she won't think of leaving now. The docs say it will heal and I will be OK but it is taking time....nothing has gone according to plan and I am beginning to think planning anything is an excercise in futility.
Good news is, the healing process is working and I am cancer free....what a blessing THAT is.
I have my friends and family who love me so much and while Im pretty sad and even a bit pissed off right now, I am so blessed and so fortunate.
My hand has given out again so I can stop whining in this message. Know I love you and appreciate you so much. Please continue to keep me and all who are sick and hurting and their families in your prayers. You are the greatest !
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me" Mike
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Tuesday, December 2nd
Friends and Family,
Good "frosty" morning to all. Sorry I did not get around to posting anything yesterday...it was not a real good day. Had to have my catheter irrigated again but was no big deal. I do get anxious about it and tend to fear the worst is yet to come but it worked fine and I was spared any great discomfort. I have struggled lately with where to put the fear that wells up inside me just thinking about how bad it hurt before. I have read and have heard Preacher Rick say that faith and fear cannot occupy the same place. I know my faith is real but I know too my fear is real. How can I say that I have faith in God to heal me and that everything will be OK and in the next breath say I am afraid I am going to have an episode of such horrible pain. I have prayed for an answer and some understanding but it is not a clear picture for me yet........
The steri-strips that covered my incisions have all fallen off and most of the scabs are gone too, I have some pretty good scars on my belly now. I have said it will take alot of Coppertone to get them covered up this summer! Showers and dressing are getting easier now too as I have gotten into my routine and know what must be done and in what order. I don't know why but my skin is so very dry now. Once my belly heals completely I want to take a bath with some good ole baby oil and get good and slicked up. Hopefully that won't be as long as it has been?
Today I missed another bible study with my brothers at the IHOP. I was so looking forward to it today but am not comfortable taking this catheter bag into a restaurant and the leg bag that is very easy to conceal is just not comfortable. So, I will look forward to next week.
The choir's Christmas Program is in less than two weeks now. The music is beautiful and Cheryl has worked so hard on it but I will be missing it too. I have always said..."if ya don't practice, ya don't play". I have not been able to practice and this late in the game I can never learn it well enough to sing with them. I have every intention of being there listening though.
Yesterday I spent some time on some Prostate Cancer Awareness web sites. I have ordered some things for me and some things to share with others too.
Am thinking some cheesy grits sound good for breakfast this morning. Something nice and warm as I am cold so much of the time now it seems. At last check, I had lost over 20lbs since going into the hospital. Wasn't the best way to lose it but am glad I did and hopefully will keep it off.
Think I am done for this posting...yea, the hand is still numb. I may try to get in to see my ortho doc this week and maybe a shot of cortisone will fix it?
Thank you again for all your prayers. Please continue to remember me and all those everywhere who are sick and hurting. I have seen alot of treatments and had alot of medicines over the past 3 weeks but NONE have had a greater effect on me than PRAYERS !
I Love You All.....thank you ..... and Thank You Lord for Your blessings on Me.
Mike
Good "frosty" morning to all. Sorry I did not get around to posting anything yesterday...it was not a real good day. Had to have my catheter irrigated again but was no big deal. I do get anxious about it and tend to fear the worst is yet to come but it worked fine and I was spared any great discomfort. I have struggled lately with where to put the fear that wells up inside me just thinking about how bad it hurt before. I have read and have heard Preacher Rick say that faith and fear cannot occupy the same place. I know my faith is real but I know too my fear is real. How can I say that I have faith in God to heal me and that everything will be OK and in the next breath say I am afraid I am going to have an episode of such horrible pain. I have prayed for an answer and some understanding but it is not a clear picture for me yet........
The steri-strips that covered my incisions have all fallen off and most of the scabs are gone too, I have some pretty good scars on my belly now. I have said it will take alot of Coppertone to get them covered up this summer! Showers and dressing are getting easier now too as I have gotten into my routine and know what must be done and in what order. I don't know why but my skin is so very dry now. Once my belly heals completely I want to take a bath with some good ole baby oil and get good and slicked up. Hopefully that won't be as long as it has been?
Today I missed another bible study with my brothers at the IHOP. I was so looking forward to it today but am not comfortable taking this catheter bag into a restaurant and the leg bag that is very easy to conceal is just not comfortable. So, I will look forward to next week.
The choir's Christmas Program is in less than two weeks now. The music is beautiful and Cheryl has worked so hard on it but I will be missing it too. I have always said..."if ya don't practice, ya don't play". I have not been able to practice and this late in the game I can never learn it well enough to sing with them. I have every intention of being there listening though.
Yesterday I spent some time on some Prostate Cancer Awareness web sites. I have ordered some things for me and some things to share with others too.
Am thinking some cheesy grits sound good for breakfast this morning. Something nice and warm as I am cold so much of the time now it seems. At last check, I had lost over 20lbs since going into the hospital. Wasn't the best way to lose it but am glad I did and hopefully will keep it off.
Think I am done for this posting...yea, the hand is still numb. I may try to get in to see my ortho doc this week and maybe a shot of cortisone will fix it?
Thank you again for all your prayers. Please continue to remember me and all those everywhere who are sick and hurting. I have seen alot of treatments and had alot of medicines over the past 3 weeks but NONE have had a greater effect on me than PRAYERS !
I Love You All.....thank you ..... and Thank You Lord for Your blessings on Me.
Mike
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