Just taking another deep breath.....

Friends and Family,

Sorry I did not get a post done yesterday....just was not as good a day as I had hoped it would be. I suspect you may have guessed, the catheter DID NOT come out. Initial indications from the cytogram was there were no leaks in the bladder at the surgical site, but looking real close, like doctors are obviously trained to do, there was one very tiny spot there. I told myself I was not going to get excited about the prospect of having it finally removed once and for all but in honesty I guess I did. It is no longer a physical struggle for me but more of an emotional struggle. Donna said to me a few weeks ago after church, "it's tough being tough isn't it".....I'm thinking you are right Donna! I have my little melt downs, actually 3 of 'em yesterday. I have got to start living my life WITH this catheter and not allowing it to be my excuse for not living life wide open, the way I used to be. Yesterday we went for the x-ray, came home for a rest, went to see Doc Polsky and then a haircut and then for something to eat and then home. I was exhausted but I did it and today, in just about an hour, Donnie is gonna pick me up and we are gonna meet Jerry and have breakfast together. Everyone is so supportive and caring and I am so grateful for all of you and your prayers. Talked with Daddy last night, they were anxious to know what the doc said and when I told him, he got upset too and apologized for not being here to support me. My Daddy said he just wished he could reach out and touch me......of course that sent me into emotional overload. They have so much going on with themselves and other family members who have been hospitalized and I know the trip here would be a huge drain on them and I'm OK with them not coming. Dean and Rita are coming to visit them this weekend and I hope that will take some of their focus off me and on enjoying them.

There is not a day goes by that I don't get a card or a call or someone will touch my hand and say we are praying for you. That means more than I can begin to express here. It is only because of your support that I am doing as well as I am now. I know God will complete the healing he has begun in me, and it will be in His time, not mine...funny how God works that way huh?

Starting today I am gonna do better, I am gonna live life as well as I can right now, catheter and all and I am gonna be confident the each day will get better. I have a catheter but I am CANCER FREE...how good is that! Im sure there are hospitals and hospice centers that are full of people who would trade lives with me in a second. I'm not trading but I will be praying for them.
This week I am going to church and I am gonna go see my choir, that I love and miss so much, in concert with Asbury's choir, present a Christmas program. I know they will be wonderful and hopefully I will get back there with them soon.

I remind myself daily of what Teresa Auten said to me one day...."God doesn't expect you to be successful all the time, He just expects you to be faithful". Teresa, your words, God's reminder have gotten me through some tough times....thank you.

Today I begin my 5th week post surgery and cancer free. I want to live more of today than I did yesterday and hopefully tomorrow I will live even more of it than today. I may get sad, or frustrated or may even cry...but that'll be OK too I suppose.

It's almost 6:30 and my ride will be here soon to take me to breakfast. I hope all of you have a wonderful day. I hope God will show His face to you as he does to me everyday in so many different ways. Please join me in praying for all that are sick and hurting, the homeless and downhearted. Pray for each other and tell at least one person today you love them. If you know of a brother struggling with prostate cancer, please tell them about this blog or give them my number and tell them to call me anytime. Know that I love you all and thank you for sharing this journey with me......
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me"

Mike