Friends and Family,
Hope everyone is enjoying the last day of 2008....mine has been good so far. We will be have some overnight visitor tonight, Kenneth and Kassady-Lynn (my grandchildren) will be staying with us. I get to spend the last day of the year with 'em and the first day of the new year too.
God continaues to bless me and my family in so many ways.
The healing process is continuing well I think. When I excert (little as it may be) myself or walk much I find I pass tiny scabs and clots. I call it "coffee grounds". It is not painful and is probably a good thing to get out of my system. I woke again this morning with a dry pad but once up and especially in the afternoon, control is much more difficult.
Re: hand issues. I will be going next Tuesday for a nerve conduction test. That should confirm whether or not there is a damaged nerve in my arm/hand that causes the pain and numbness. On the 24th I see a hand specialist. Please continue to pray this is a "temporary" thing and normal life is coming soon.
So, I hope everyone has great night, I for one will not likely see the new year arrive. Be safe in your travels. Take the time today to tell someone you love them....I LOVE YOU ALL.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.....GOD BLESS YOU ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
A week of Freedom
Friends,
Good Monday morning to all. I suspect everyone is still recovering from the Christmas hangover (not the drinking kind) and looking forward to seeing the new year in. Today, I am celebrating 1 week of being catheter free and progressing well in the process of returning to normal. Yesterday was a good day at church, got to lead the Sunday School lesson for the first time in about 2 months and enjoyed the services without any "attachments".
No doc visits this week, first time I've had a doc free week in two months. Next week I return to Dr. Polsky for a progress check. I am confident things are going the way they are suppose too. Once again, in the interest of being open and at the risk of being too frank, there are some things worth mentioning for the benefit of those who may be dealing with prostate cancer and/or recovering from treatments.
I wear pads to prevent wetting my clothes. There is some leakage issues (normal) and the later in the day it gets, the worse it becomes. All our muscles get tired by the end of a day. Same is true with bladder and urinary control muscles too. There is some blood in my urine but that too is expected. All in all, while not perfect by any stretch, things are pretty good and I am confident I am on track for a complete recovery and normal functionality. God has begun a healing in me and I know he will complete it! I will admit though, yesterday I watched football for about 6 hours and both the teams I wanted to win, did win (Panthers and Dolphins) and the one I hoped would lose, lost (Cowboys). Sometimes a little too much excitement cause by a great play made the pads come in real handy :-/
As I count down the last few days of 2008, I look back with gratitude for so many wonderful blessings. I have seen some of my worst days but seen even more great days....but those of you who know me already knew that too! For ALL you "special" people who have made my life so good, may God bless you all. I love YOU.
Time for this posting to find a good stopping place. I am told often how so many of you are following this blog. It always makes me smile. I am especially happy when I learn that other men who are faced with a diagnosis of prostate cancer are reading this and finding some comfort in knowing they too will be OK. And not just men, wives and daughters and sister will hopefully see this and learn that prostate cancer is NOT the end to a normal life.
Time to go. Have a wonderful Monday, it will be the last one this year! Thanks for praying for me...don't forget to pray for others who are sick and hurting, homeless and helpless, pray for our children and for each other.
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
Good Monday morning to all. I suspect everyone is still recovering from the Christmas hangover (not the drinking kind) and looking forward to seeing the new year in. Today, I am celebrating 1 week of being catheter free and progressing well in the process of returning to normal. Yesterday was a good day at church, got to lead the Sunday School lesson for the first time in about 2 months and enjoyed the services without any "attachments".
No doc visits this week, first time I've had a doc free week in two months. Next week I return to Dr. Polsky for a progress check. I am confident things are going the way they are suppose too. Once again, in the interest of being open and at the risk of being too frank, there are some things worth mentioning for the benefit of those who may be dealing with prostate cancer and/or recovering from treatments.
I wear pads to prevent wetting my clothes. There is some leakage issues (normal) and the later in the day it gets, the worse it becomes. All our muscles get tired by the end of a day. Same is true with bladder and urinary control muscles too. There is some blood in my urine but that too is expected. All in all, while not perfect by any stretch, things are pretty good and I am confident I am on track for a complete recovery and normal functionality. God has begun a healing in me and I know he will complete it! I will admit though, yesterday I watched football for about 6 hours and both the teams I wanted to win, did win (Panthers and Dolphins) and the one I hoped would lose, lost (Cowboys). Sometimes a little too much excitement cause by a great play made the pads come in real handy :-/
As I count down the last few days of 2008, I look back with gratitude for so many wonderful blessings. I have seen some of my worst days but seen even more great days....but those of you who know me already knew that too! For ALL you "special" people who have made my life so good, may God bless you all. I love YOU.
Time for this posting to find a good stopping place. I am told often how so many of you are following this blog. It always makes me smile. I am especially happy when I learn that other men who are faced with a diagnosis of prostate cancer are reading this and finding some comfort in knowing they too will be OK. And not just men, wives and daughters and sister will hopefully see this and learn that prostate cancer is NOT the end to a normal life.
Time to go. Have a wonderful Monday, it will be the last one this year! Thanks for praying for me...don't forget to pray for others who are sick and hurting, homeless and helpless, pray for our children and for each other.
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
Saturday, December 27, 2008
363 shopping days left til Christmas
Friends
Well, another Christmas has come and gone as we have completed our journey around the sun again. Looking back and reflecting brings many tears, tears of Joy and Sadness, many good times and some not so good. The important thing in all of it though.....WE ARE HERE. We are here, living and loving and laughing. We have been so blessed with this gift we call LIFE and I am glad YOU are a part of mine.....
Five days since the catheter has been removed and all is well so far. I am still seeing some signs of blood and a few tiny speck (probably scabs/clots) in my urine. There has not been any pain to speak of and sleep come fairly easily now. I awake during the night and feel the need to pee and that is a good thing. It indicates the nerves that tell me when I need to go are working. I have to wear pads now and as the days go on, I find my ability to control urination is significantly deminished. I seldom wake with a wet pad but about 3:00 - 4:00 in the afternoon it is very difficult to control. I believe it is getting better and I do my excercises (keegles) and am confident it will all get to normal very soon. Like I said, I do wear pads in my underwear and if I didn't tell you I was wearing anything I don't think you would know. This too I think is difficult for men to do and even more difficult to talk about but for me, it is a way of life for now and is beyond my control so I have no intentions of trying to hide anything.
I have been trying to walk around the neighborhood daily and do as much as I can around the house (cooking, laundry, etc). I do well in the mornings but I run out of steam pretty quickly as the day goes on.
My hand might be just a bit better but is not well by any means. I will be having a nerve conduction test in the coming weeks and have been referred to a hand specialist too.
I trust everyone is still enjoying the holiday season, I am. Got to spend some time with the kids on Christmas Day. Our "beach" friends are at Topsail for New Years, somethings we all usually do together. Had to pass on it this year as a 5 hours drive would be too much for me right now. I do hope and pray that ALL of you have a wonderful new year.
Remember to pray for ALL those who are sick and hurting, the homeless and helpless, for those away from home and loved ones. Pray for all our children and for each other. I Love You ALL
Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me
Mike
Well, another Christmas has come and gone as we have completed our journey around the sun again. Looking back and reflecting brings many tears, tears of Joy and Sadness, many good times and some not so good. The important thing in all of it though.....WE ARE HERE. We are here, living and loving and laughing. We have been so blessed with this gift we call LIFE and I am glad YOU are a part of mine.....
Five days since the catheter has been removed and all is well so far. I am still seeing some signs of blood and a few tiny speck (probably scabs/clots) in my urine. There has not been any pain to speak of and sleep come fairly easily now. I awake during the night and feel the need to pee and that is a good thing. It indicates the nerves that tell me when I need to go are working. I have to wear pads now and as the days go on, I find my ability to control urination is significantly deminished. I seldom wake with a wet pad but about 3:00 - 4:00 in the afternoon it is very difficult to control. I believe it is getting better and I do my excercises (keegles) and am confident it will all get to normal very soon. Like I said, I do wear pads in my underwear and if I didn't tell you I was wearing anything I don't think you would know. This too I think is difficult for men to do and even more difficult to talk about but for me, it is a way of life for now and is beyond my control so I have no intentions of trying to hide anything.
I have been trying to walk around the neighborhood daily and do as much as I can around the house (cooking, laundry, etc). I do well in the mornings but I run out of steam pretty quickly as the day goes on.
My hand might be just a bit better but is not well by any means. I will be having a nerve conduction test in the coming weeks and have been referred to a hand specialist too.
I trust everyone is still enjoying the holiday season, I am. Got to spend some time with the kids on Christmas Day. Our "beach" friends are at Topsail for New Years, somethings we all usually do together. Had to pass on it this year as a 5 hours drive would be too much for me right now. I do hope and pray that ALL of you have a wonderful new year.
Remember to pray for ALL those who are sick and hurting, the homeless and helpless, for those away from home and loved ones. Pray for all our children and for each other. I Love You ALL
Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me
Mike
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas
Friends and Family,
MERRY CHRISTMAS. It's 7:30 am, Christmas Day 2008 and I sit here in front of this computer wondering how I could possibly express by gratitude and appreciation for being alive and well. It is truly a Christmas miracle and I give all the credit to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
My days and nights since Monday when the catheter was removed have all been very good. I have had no issues with pain or discomfort at all. I sleep well now that I am untethered and can drive again too.
I have some "issues" I will talk about later but today I just want to say to ALL of you....
MERRY CHRISTMAS
May all your homes be filled with Peace and Joy, Health and Happiness and Love and Laughter. God Bless you All.
Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me
Mike
MERRY CHRISTMAS. It's 7:30 am, Christmas Day 2008 and I sit here in front of this computer wondering how I could possibly express by gratitude and appreciation for being alive and well. It is truly a Christmas miracle and I give all the credit to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
My days and nights since Monday when the catheter was removed have all been very good. I have had no issues with pain or discomfort at all. I sleep well now that I am untethered and can drive again too.
I have some "issues" I will talk about later but today I just want to say to ALL of you....
MERRY CHRISTMAS
May all your homes be filled with Peace and Joy, Health and Happiness and Love and Laughter. God Bless you All.
Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me
Mike
Monday, December 22, 2008
Oh by the way....
Friends,
How in the world I coulda forgotten this little tid-bit. The blood work I had done last week came back and the P.S.A. count was measured as "UNDETECTABLE". That my friends is wonderful because it indicates that no prostate cell or cancer cell were detected. I will be retested every 3 month for a while but for now let's celebrate I remain cancer free...... GOD IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD !
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
How in the world I coulda forgotten this little tid-bit. The blood work I had done last week came back and the P.S.A. count was measured as "UNDETECTABLE". That my friends is wonderful because it indicates that no prostate cell or cancer cell were detected. I will be retested every 3 month for a while but for now let's celebrate I remain cancer free...... GOD IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD !
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
OH HAPPY DAY !!!!
Friends,
OH HAPPY DAY for sure...after I had my 4th cystogram, the results showed my bladder was about 99% healed and Dr. Plosky said we are taking the catheter out. What an answered prayer. I was honestly a bit downheartened when the radiologist said there was still a very small area of leakage but not so serious that I needed to keep the catheter. Two days short of six weeks...it had gone way past a physical issue to becoming an emotional issue.
Now, I find myself in some more new territory. I have to wear a protective pad in my underwear as I am leaking as a result of losing my ability to control my urine flow. It is normal and will in time and with some therapy (doing keegles) return to normal. My homework is to practice stopping my flow while I am peeing, let go and try to stop it again. Sounds strange I know but will help to rehab and strengthen those muscles used for control during urgency. I have already started doing it and first time out managed to stop and restart two times. WOO HOO.
I go back in two weeks and we will have some discussion about what medications and therapies will be best for continued nerve stimulation and rehabilitation.
Without a doubt this has been the best Christmas gift I could have gotten. Thank you all for your prayers on my behalf. God continues to show up and show off in my life. I Love You ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
OH HAPPY DAY for sure...after I had my 4th cystogram, the results showed my bladder was about 99% healed and Dr. Plosky said we are taking the catheter out. What an answered prayer. I was honestly a bit downheartened when the radiologist said there was still a very small area of leakage but not so serious that I needed to keep the catheter. Two days short of six weeks...it had gone way past a physical issue to becoming an emotional issue.
Now, I find myself in some more new territory. I have to wear a protective pad in my underwear as I am leaking as a result of losing my ability to control my urine flow. It is normal and will in time and with some therapy (doing keegles) return to normal. My homework is to practice stopping my flow while I am peeing, let go and try to stop it again. Sounds strange I know but will help to rehab and strengthen those muscles used for control during urgency. I have already started doing it and first time out managed to stop and restart two times. WOO HOO.
I go back in two weeks and we will have some discussion about what medications and therapies will be best for continued nerve stimulation and rehabilitation.
Without a doubt this has been the best Christmas gift I could have gotten. Thank you all for your prayers on my behalf. God continues to show up and show off in my life. I Love You ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
Sunday, December 21, 2008
3 Shoppings days til Christmas
Friends,
What a beautiful day in Charlotte today....a welcome change from the recent rainy days. Today was another good day at church, I even went to Sunday School. By the end of service I was so ready to come home. The cath bag I use on road trips has to be strapped to my leg. Well, it managed to work it's way loose, lots of ups and downs in church caused it I suspect. Anyway, it was loose and pulling on my cath....the only thing holding it in was the balloon in the bladder. Needless to say I was anxious to get home.
What I thought was an infection starting earlier in the week has not gotten worse. I think it is some "natural" secretions that just happen to become noticeable because of the catheter. It doesn't hurt and with this thing coming out tomorrow, I am confident everything is gonna be OK.
I suspect the coming days will bring many new challenges. With the catheter out there is an expectation of urinary and erectile disfunction. While I love that so many people have been a part of my journey here, my #1 goal is to inform others and their families about Prostate Cancer and treatments. So, I intend to frankly discuss how "things" work, never trying to be crude but always trying to be real and factual. Enuf said 'bout that!
Only three more shopping days til Christmas. I think I am about as ready as I can get. Left hand is not any better, maybe even a bit worse? Going to the ortho doc on Tuesday with a hope that some kind of new treatment will help.
Merry Christmas to you all. May the joys and love and peace of the season fill your homes and hearts.
More tomorrow...til then.... I Love You All.... Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me MR
What a beautiful day in Charlotte today....a welcome change from the recent rainy days. Today was another good day at church, I even went to Sunday School. By the end of service I was so ready to come home. The cath bag I use on road trips has to be strapped to my leg. Well, it managed to work it's way loose, lots of ups and downs in church caused it I suspect. Anyway, it was loose and pulling on my cath....the only thing holding it in was the balloon in the bladder. Needless to say I was anxious to get home.
What I thought was an infection starting earlier in the week has not gotten worse. I think it is some "natural" secretions that just happen to become noticeable because of the catheter. It doesn't hurt and with this thing coming out tomorrow, I am confident everything is gonna be OK.
I suspect the coming days will bring many new challenges. With the catheter out there is an expectation of urinary and erectile disfunction. While I love that so many people have been a part of my journey here, my #1 goal is to inform others and their families about Prostate Cancer and treatments. So, I intend to frankly discuss how "things" work, never trying to be crude but always trying to be real and factual. Enuf said 'bout that!
Only three more shopping days til Christmas. I think I am about as ready as I can get. Left hand is not any better, maybe even a bit worse? Going to the ortho doc on Tuesday with a hope that some kind of new treatment will help.
Merry Christmas to you all. May the joys and love and peace of the season fill your homes and hearts.
More tomorrow...til then.... I Love You All.... Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me MR
Friday, December 19, 2008
Friday, December 19th
Friends,
Hey..last Friday before Christmas! Next week this time we will all be on a Christmas hangover. I'm sure I will be asking when can we take the tree down? Seriously, I hope it is a wonderful week for everyone and we get closer to the birthday party for our Lord.
Today I go and have blood drawn to check my P.S.A. Funny thing about that is I should NOT have any measureable P.S.A. Should the test return with any result other than "None Detectable" it is not a good sign. That can indicate that cancer cells from the prostate are in my body and may (not necessarily will) be a source of cancer in some other organ or area of my body. I believe, God will finish the healing He has begun and it will all be OK. Please continue to remember me in your prayers. Statistically, 28,000 men will die of prostate cancer this year!
I am still experiencing some issues, there is some minor sepage from the end of my penis where the cath goes in. I don't want to think it is puss although it looks very much like it could be. I have no fever, no redness so I am thinking it is just a natural discharge from the ointment I use as well as normal body fluids. No, I have not gotten my medical degree in the past 5 weeks but will say I have kept myself pretty informed about what is going on with my old body. Once this cath is removed and natural processes can resume, I am confident things will grow closer to normal in just a few days.
My hand is no better yet, I go back and see my ortho doc on Tuesday. Doc Polsky's office just called to remind me of my appointment on Monday -- like I would forget that ! Told her I am bringing a fork to the office with me...and telling the doc he can put it in this catheter ...cause I am DONE !
Guess it is time to get off for today. I hope you all have a great weekend, I am looking forward to it too. Please remember me and my family in your prayers, prayer for those who are sick and hurting, the homeless and the hopeless, for those away from home and family this time of year. Pray for our children and each other.
Thank you ALL so much....Merry Christmas...I LOVE YOU ALL....
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me" Mike
Hey..last Friday before Christmas! Next week this time we will all be on a Christmas hangover. I'm sure I will be asking when can we take the tree down? Seriously, I hope it is a wonderful week for everyone and we get closer to the birthday party for our Lord.
Today I go and have blood drawn to check my P.S.A. Funny thing about that is I should NOT have any measureable P.S.A. Should the test return with any result other than "None Detectable" it is not a good sign. That can indicate that cancer cells from the prostate are in my body and may (not necessarily will) be a source of cancer in some other organ or area of my body. I believe, God will finish the healing He has begun and it will all be OK. Please continue to remember me in your prayers. Statistically, 28,000 men will die of prostate cancer this year!
I am still experiencing some issues, there is some minor sepage from the end of my penis where the cath goes in. I don't want to think it is puss although it looks very much like it could be. I have no fever, no redness so I am thinking it is just a natural discharge from the ointment I use as well as normal body fluids. No, I have not gotten my medical degree in the past 5 weeks but will say I have kept myself pretty informed about what is going on with my old body. Once this cath is removed and natural processes can resume, I am confident things will grow closer to normal in just a few days.
My hand is no better yet, I go back and see my ortho doc on Tuesday. Doc Polsky's office just called to remind me of my appointment on Monday -- like I would forget that ! Told her I am bringing a fork to the office with me...and telling the doc he can put it in this catheter ...cause I am DONE !
Guess it is time to get off for today. I hope you all have a great weekend, I am looking forward to it too. Please remember me and my family in your prayers, prayer for those who are sick and hurting, the homeless and the hopeless, for those away from home and family this time of year. Pray for our children and each other.
Thank you ALL so much....Merry Christmas...I LOVE YOU ALL....
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me" Mike
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
5 Week Annivesary
Friends,
Today is 5 weeks since the surgery! Amazing how time flies huh?
Today was not one of my better days. I am still experiencing some discomfort where the cath goes in. Called the doc's office to see what might be going on. They told me to limit my activities (Brenda laughed) and to limit the use of the lidocane gel as overuse can cause some irritation. So......guess I will slack off on it and try not to do to much til next week. With the weather we have been having it gives me a good excuse to stay in but am so hopeful that next week I can get out some and walk.
Some of you have asked for pictures. They are coming, just need to take the time to do it but promise I will.
Hope everyone has had a good "hump" day. One week from today is Christmas Eve.
Thank you for your love and prayers.....I Love You ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me" Mike
Today is 5 weeks since the surgery! Amazing how time flies huh?
Today was not one of my better days. I am still experiencing some discomfort where the cath goes in. Called the doc's office to see what might be going on. They told me to limit my activities (Brenda laughed) and to limit the use of the lidocane gel as overuse can cause some irritation. So......guess I will slack off on it and try not to do to much til next week. With the weather we have been having it gives me a good excuse to stay in but am so hopeful that next week I can get out some and walk.
Some of you have asked for pictures. They are coming, just need to take the time to do it but promise I will.
Hope everyone has had a good "hump" day. One week from today is Christmas Eve.
Thank you for your love and prayers.....I Love You ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me" Mike
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I Love Tuesday mornings
Friends,
Happy Tuesday! I love Tuesdays. For those of you who know me well know that Tuesdays start at IHOP with our men's bible study group. I have missed it for 5 weeks now and today I got to go back. Donnie picked me up and Wayne brought me home..it was great!
My day did start a bit tough tho...about 2:00am was up feeling some pressure and we ended up flushing my catheter. There was no blockage but it felt funny and honestly I got a little bit paranoid fearing another episode was starting. Back in bed around 3:00, I fell asleep and everything was and is still OK. I do feel some discomfort and tenderness but have attributed it to having this cath for 5 weeks now. Actually tomorrow will be the 5 week anniversary.
Managed to do a load of laundry and prepared dinner again but that pretty much does me in. I am still sorta amazed as to how little strength and endurance I have. Hopefully next week I can start some walking and getting stronger? Did I tell ya'll I lost some tonnage...20+ lbs. I hope I don't find 'em again. Would be nice to lose about 20 more and go into summer about 50 lbs less than last year.
I trust your Christmas shopping is almost done. I think mine is but then again I didn't have anything to buy. B love Christmas and loves shopping and it works for me.
Time to settle in for the night now, do some TV and think about what tomorrow will bring.
Please continue to pray for all those who are sick and hurting, the homeless and hopeless, for those away from their homes and families. Pray for our children and for each other. Thank You..... I Love You ALL
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me" Mike
Happy Tuesday! I love Tuesdays. For those of you who know me well know that Tuesdays start at IHOP with our men's bible study group. I have missed it for 5 weeks now and today I got to go back. Donnie picked me up and Wayne brought me home..it was great!
My day did start a bit tough tho...about 2:00am was up feeling some pressure and we ended up flushing my catheter. There was no blockage but it felt funny and honestly I got a little bit paranoid fearing another episode was starting. Back in bed around 3:00, I fell asleep and everything was and is still OK. I do feel some discomfort and tenderness but have attributed it to having this cath for 5 weeks now. Actually tomorrow will be the 5 week anniversary.
Managed to do a load of laundry and prepared dinner again but that pretty much does me in. I am still sorta amazed as to how little strength and endurance I have. Hopefully next week I can start some walking and getting stronger? Did I tell ya'll I lost some tonnage...20+ lbs. I hope I don't find 'em again. Would be nice to lose about 20 more and go into summer about 50 lbs less than last year.
I trust your Christmas shopping is almost done. I think mine is but then again I didn't have anything to buy. B love Christmas and loves shopping and it works for me.
Time to settle in for the night now, do some TV and think about what tomorrow will bring.
Please continue to pray for all those who are sick and hurting, the homeless and hopeless, for those away from their homes and families. Pray for our children and for each other. Thank You..... I Love You ALL
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me" Mike
Monday, December 15, 2008
Monday Monday
Friends,
When I wrote the title down above..."Monday Monday" it reminded me of the song by the Mommas and Papas. How wierd is that! Yesterday was a great day, got out and did church and got to see alot of folks I hadnt seen in weeks..it was real good seeing everyone. Many hand shakes and hugs and reminders of how much I have been prayed for.
Today has been OK, feeling a little pressure in my cath but the flow is OK and so I don't think anything is wrong? It makes a big difference when I use the small bag -vs- the bigger one. One more week to go.
Got the dreaded hospital bill today, one of 'em atleast. I wont tell ya how much it is but I could buy 30 cars like my first one I got in 1971. Praise the Lord for good insurance!
No new news today, hand is still the same and everything else is status quo for now. I am tired and think I might have done a bit too much yesterday...still don't have all my strength back.
Hope it is a good day for everyone. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I LOVE YOU ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
When I wrote the title down above..."Monday Monday" it reminded me of the song by the Mommas and Papas. How wierd is that! Yesterday was a great day, got out and did church and got to see alot of folks I hadnt seen in weeks..it was real good seeing everyone. Many hand shakes and hugs and reminders of how much I have been prayed for.
Today has been OK, feeling a little pressure in my cath but the flow is OK and so I don't think anything is wrong? It makes a big difference when I use the small bag -vs- the bigger one. One more week to go.
Got the dreaded hospital bill today, one of 'em atleast. I wont tell ya how much it is but I could buy 30 cars like my first one I got in 1971. Praise the Lord for good insurance!
No new news today, hand is still the same and everything else is status quo for now. I am tired and think I might have done a bit too much yesterday...still don't have all my strength back.
Hope it is a good day for everyone. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I LOVE YOU ALL
"Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Sunday, December 14th
Friends and Family,
Today is an exciting day....I'm going to church today for the first time in several weeks. Don't have to leave for an hour yet and I'm already dressed and ready to go. A part of me feels this will be an emotional day....back to church for the first time in a long time, this afternoon we plan to visit Lisa and her family at the funeral home and pay our respects in the passing of her mother Mary and then tonight, the choir (my choir) is having their Christmas concert. I will certainly miss being a part of it but will accept my role as supporter with joy and gladness. I have told some of you that I feel my struggles now are more emotional than physical. Don't get me wrong, I still feel hindered with the catheter and there are times when it hurts badly but those time are fewer each day. Sleep does not come easy and I am often awake and see the clock changing at 12:00 and everyhour til 4:00..... but then sleep will come and I can get up and see the light of day and rejoice that God has given me one more day to enjoy this journey we call life.
Yesterday I had a wonderful surprise....a visit from Ardy and Michelle Skidmore and Jennifer Hupko. They needed to take care of some Chrysalis business with B and I got to have some company. Before they left we all held hands and prayed....God just keeps showing up in my life in so many unexpected way. Thank you ladies for being God's hands and feet to me and others.
Dean and Rita made it home (to Momma and Daddy's) yesterday...just in time to go to the hospital with Daddy. He was having some pain and difficulty in raising his arms. The docs said it is likely a pulled muscle and gave him some meds and sent them all home. Daddy and I have joked on the phone that the "Raynor Men" are having a hard time lately. (By the way..Dean is my brother and Rita his wife)
Today is my youngest grandaughter's (Mary Katherine) birthday, she is 7 years old. Wish we could have shared it with her and the family but we had a good time two weeks ago and will hope that next year we can celebrate her on her day.
It is only 11 days til Christmas...hard to believe it is here already. We made candy yesterday (I had a very small contribution to that process) and will likely do more this week. We will have to get our gifts to the family in the mail this week as we are not travelling over the holidays.
For all who share this journey with me, thank you again for your support and prayers. It is my sincerest prayer that God may use me to help some others who may face prostate cancer. I know some of you have shared this blog with others and that truly blesses me.
I pray you are all well, you are happy and healthy and surrounded by those you love and who love you. May the joys of Christmas fill you hearts and homes. I Love You All....
"Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me...."
Mike
Today is an exciting day....I'm going to church today for the first time in several weeks. Don't have to leave for an hour yet and I'm already dressed and ready to go. A part of me feels this will be an emotional day....back to church for the first time in a long time, this afternoon we plan to visit Lisa and her family at the funeral home and pay our respects in the passing of her mother Mary and then tonight, the choir (my choir) is having their Christmas concert. I will certainly miss being a part of it but will accept my role as supporter with joy and gladness. I have told some of you that I feel my struggles now are more emotional than physical. Don't get me wrong, I still feel hindered with the catheter and there are times when it hurts badly but those time are fewer each day. Sleep does not come easy and I am often awake and see the clock changing at 12:00 and everyhour til 4:00..... but then sleep will come and I can get up and see the light of day and rejoice that God has given me one more day to enjoy this journey we call life.
Yesterday I had a wonderful surprise....a visit from Ardy and Michelle Skidmore and Jennifer Hupko. They needed to take care of some Chrysalis business with B and I got to have some company. Before they left we all held hands and prayed....God just keeps showing up in my life in so many unexpected way. Thank you ladies for being God's hands and feet to me and others.
Dean and Rita made it home (to Momma and Daddy's) yesterday...just in time to go to the hospital with Daddy. He was having some pain and difficulty in raising his arms. The docs said it is likely a pulled muscle and gave him some meds and sent them all home. Daddy and I have joked on the phone that the "Raynor Men" are having a hard time lately. (By the way..Dean is my brother and Rita his wife)
Today is my youngest grandaughter's (Mary Katherine) birthday, she is 7 years old. Wish we could have shared it with her and the family but we had a good time two weeks ago and will hope that next year we can celebrate her on her day.
It is only 11 days til Christmas...hard to believe it is here already. We made candy yesterday (I had a very small contribution to that process) and will likely do more this week. We will have to get our gifts to the family in the mail this week as we are not travelling over the holidays.
For all who share this journey with me, thank you again for your support and prayers. It is my sincerest prayer that God may use me to help some others who may face prostate cancer. I know some of you have shared this blog with others and that truly blesses me.
I pray you are all well, you are happy and healthy and surrounded by those you love and who love you. May the joys of Christmas fill you hearts and homes. I Love You All....
"Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me...."
Mike
Friday, December 12, 2008
Friday again...
Friends,
TGIF....for all you working folks. Hope it was a good week and you have plans for a good weekend. Today has been a pretty good day for me. It took me all day but I managed to get the laundry pretty much caught up and prepared a meatloaf for dinner....just had my bath and I am exhausted! I hope to be able to get out some next week and start working on my strength and endurance...I get tired pretty easily.
My stomach is all healed up as far as I can tell, atleast on the outside. I still dont do alot of stretching but am sure that too will come in time. Finally broke down and called the doc for something to help me sleep and help me it did...slept good last nite and plan on it tonight too.
I continue to be surprised by God showing up in so many ways and places. Cards and calls continue to bring joy in my life and remind me of how good I do have it. For those of you who post comments here, thanks...I love seeing them too.
Guess it is about time to finish up and settle in to see what is on nighttime TV. The hand is better I think but typing alot gets it all riled up.
I hope all of you are having a wonderful and joyous holiday season. I am so thankful for the reason for the season and for so many wonderful people who call me friend...thank you.
Pray for all those who are sick and hurting, for the homeless and for each other. I Love You
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me" MR
TGIF....for all you working folks. Hope it was a good week and you have plans for a good weekend. Today has been a pretty good day for me. It took me all day but I managed to get the laundry pretty much caught up and prepared a meatloaf for dinner....just had my bath and I am exhausted! I hope to be able to get out some next week and start working on my strength and endurance...I get tired pretty easily.
My stomach is all healed up as far as I can tell, atleast on the outside. I still dont do alot of stretching but am sure that too will come in time. Finally broke down and called the doc for something to help me sleep and help me it did...slept good last nite and plan on it tonight too.
I continue to be surprised by God showing up in so many ways and places. Cards and calls continue to bring joy in my life and remind me of how good I do have it. For those of you who post comments here, thanks...I love seeing them too.
Guess it is about time to finish up and settle in to see what is on nighttime TV. The hand is better I think but typing alot gets it all riled up.
I hope all of you are having a wonderful and joyous holiday season. I am so thankful for the reason for the season and for so many wonderful people who call me friend...thank you.
Pray for all those who are sick and hurting, for the homeless and for each other. I Love You
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me" MR
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Just taking another deep breath.....
Friends and Family,
Sorry I did not get a post done yesterday....just was not as good a day as I had hoped it would be. I suspect you may have guessed, the catheter DID NOT come out. Initial indications from the cytogram was there were no leaks in the bladder at the surgical site, but looking real close, like doctors are obviously trained to do, there was one very tiny spot there. I told myself I was not going to get excited about the prospect of having it finally removed once and for all but in honesty I guess I did. It is no longer a physical struggle for me but more of an emotional struggle. Donna said to me a few weeks ago after church, "it's tough being tough isn't it".....I'm thinking you are right Donna! I have my little melt downs, actually 3 of 'em yesterday. I have got to start living my life WITH this catheter and not allowing it to be my excuse for not living life wide open, the way I used to be. Yesterday we went for the x-ray, came home for a rest, went to see Doc Polsky and then a haircut and then for something to eat and then home. I was exhausted but I did it and today, in just about an hour, Donnie is gonna pick me up and we are gonna meet Jerry and have breakfast together. Everyone is so supportive and caring and I am so grateful for all of you and your prayers. Talked with Daddy last night, they were anxious to know what the doc said and when I told him, he got upset too and apologized for not being here to support me. My Daddy said he just wished he could reach out and touch me......of course that sent me into emotional overload. They have so much going on with themselves and other family members who have been hospitalized and I know the trip here would be a huge drain on them and I'm OK with them not coming. Dean and Rita are coming to visit them this weekend and I hope that will take some of their focus off me and on enjoying them.
There is not a day goes by that I don't get a card or a call or someone will touch my hand and say we are praying for you. That means more than I can begin to express here. It is only because of your support that I am doing as well as I am now. I know God will complete the healing he has begun in me, and it will be in His time, not mine...funny how God works that way huh?
Starting today I am gonna do better, I am gonna live life as well as I can right now, catheter and all and I am gonna be confident the each day will get better. I have a catheter but I am CANCER FREE...how good is that! Im sure there are hospitals and hospice centers that are full of people who would trade lives with me in a second. I'm not trading but I will be praying for them.
This week I am going to church and I am gonna go see my choir, that I love and miss so much, in concert with Asbury's choir, present a Christmas program. I know they will be wonderful and hopefully I will get back there with them soon.
I remind myself daily of what Teresa Auten said to me one day...."God doesn't expect you to be successful all the time, He just expects you to be faithful". Teresa, your words, God's reminder have gotten me through some tough times....thank you.
Today I begin my 5th week post surgery and cancer free. I want to live more of today than I did yesterday and hopefully tomorrow I will live even more of it than today. I may get sad, or frustrated or may even cry...but that'll be OK too I suppose.
It's almost 6:30 and my ride will be here soon to take me to breakfast. I hope all of you have a wonderful day. I hope God will show His face to you as he does to me everyday in so many different ways. Please join me in praying for all that are sick and hurting, the homeless and downhearted. Pray for each other and tell at least one person today you love them. If you know of a brother struggling with prostate cancer, please tell them about this blog or give them my number and tell them to call me anytime. Know that I love you all and thank you for sharing this journey with me......
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
Sorry I did not get a post done yesterday....just was not as good a day as I had hoped it would be. I suspect you may have guessed, the catheter DID NOT come out. Initial indications from the cytogram was there were no leaks in the bladder at the surgical site, but looking real close, like doctors are obviously trained to do, there was one very tiny spot there. I told myself I was not going to get excited about the prospect of having it finally removed once and for all but in honesty I guess I did. It is no longer a physical struggle for me but more of an emotional struggle. Donna said to me a few weeks ago after church, "it's tough being tough isn't it".....I'm thinking you are right Donna! I have my little melt downs, actually 3 of 'em yesterday. I have got to start living my life WITH this catheter and not allowing it to be my excuse for not living life wide open, the way I used to be. Yesterday we went for the x-ray, came home for a rest, went to see Doc Polsky and then a haircut and then for something to eat and then home. I was exhausted but I did it and today, in just about an hour, Donnie is gonna pick me up and we are gonna meet Jerry and have breakfast together. Everyone is so supportive and caring and I am so grateful for all of you and your prayers. Talked with Daddy last night, they were anxious to know what the doc said and when I told him, he got upset too and apologized for not being here to support me. My Daddy said he just wished he could reach out and touch me......of course that sent me into emotional overload. They have so much going on with themselves and other family members who have been hospitalized and I know the trip here would be a huge drain on them and I'm OK with them not coming. Dean and Rita are coming to visit them this weekend and I hope that will take some of their focus off me and on enjoying them.
There is not a day goes by that I don't get a card or a call or someone will touch my hand and say we are praying for you. That means more than I can begin to express here. It is only because of your support that I am doing as well as I am now. I know God will complete the healing he has begun in me, and it will be in His time, not mine...funny how God works that way huh?
Starting today I am gonna do better, I am gonna live life as well as I can right now, catheter and all and I am gonna be confident the each day will get better. I have a catheter but I am CANCER FREE...how good is that! Im sure there are hospitals and hospice centers that are full of people who would trade lives with me in a second. I'm not trading but I will be praying for them.
This week I am going to church and I am gonna go see my choir, that I love and miss so much, in concert with Asbury's choir, present a Christmas program. I know they will be wonderful and hopefully I will get back there with them soon.
I remind myself daily of what Teresa Auten said to me one day...."God doesn't expect you to be successful all the time, He just expects you to be faithful". Teresa, your words, God's reminder have gotten me through some tough times....thank you.
Today I begin my 5th week post surgery and cancer free. I want to live more of today than I did yesterday and hopefully tomorrow I will live even more of it than today. I may get sad, or frustrated or may even cry...but that'll be OK too I suppose.
It's almost 6:30 and my ride will be here soon to take me to breakfast. I hope all of you have a wonderful day. I hope God will show His face to you as he does to me everyday in so many different ways. Please join me in praying for all that are sick and hurting, the homeless and downhearted. Pray for each other and tell at least one person today you love them. If you know of a brother struggling with prostate cancer, please tell them about this blog or give them my number and tell them to call me anytime. Know that I love you all and thank you for sharing this journey with me......
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Tuesday, Day #27
Friends and Family,
Happy Tuesday, day number 27 in this journey. Yesterday was my day with the ortho doc to see what is going on with my left hand. Well, I guess my self diagnosis was wrong and the doc says the ulnar nerve is damaged but not because of attempts to start a new I.V. He say this type injury occurs most in folks who are in bed alot. He says that laying propped up on your elbows or using your elbows to manuver in bed. I reckon I fall in that category as the surgery left my stomach muscles too sore to use to pull myself up. Anyway, I have a topical steroid cream and a steroid pack to take over the next six days and a pad to wear over this nerve area of my arm. Can't really tell any difference yet but am hopeful it will get better soon.
Had a good day yesterday and slept pretty good last night too. Maybe I have just learn to live with this catheter? I am hopeful it can be removed tomorrow but refuse to get amped up about just in case it doesn't happen.
Looks like it is gonna be a rainy day in Charlotte today? Good thing I didn't have plans to work outside today huh?
Remember to pray for all those who are sick and hurting, pray for each other too. Thank you for your prayers for me and mine....and for taking this journey with me...you're the best!
I Love You All................ "Thank You Lord for Your blessings on Me"
Mike
Happy Tuesday, day number 27 in this journey. Yesterday was my day with the ortho doc to see what is going on with my left hand. Well, I guess my self diagnosis was wrong and the doc says the ulnar nerve is damaged but not because of attempts to start a new I.V. He say this type injury occurs most in folks who are in bed alot. He says that laying propped up on your elbows or using your elbows to manuver in bed. I reckon I fall in that category as the surgery left my stomach muscles too sore to use to pull myself up. Anyway, I have a topical steroid cream and a steroid pack to take over the next six days and a pad to wear over this nerve area of my arm. Can't really tell any difference yet but am hopeful it will get better soon.
Had a good day yesterday and slept pretty good last night too. Maybe I have just learn to live with this catheter? I am hopeful it can be removed tomorrow but refuse to get amped up about just in case it doesn't happen.
Looks like it is gonna be a rainy day in Charlotte today? Good thing I didn't have plans to work outside today huh?
Remember to pray for all those who are sick and hurting, pray for each other too. Thank you for your prayers for me and mine....and for taking this journey with me...you're the best!
I Love You All................ "Thank You Lord for Your blessings on Me"
Mike
Monday, December 8, 2008
Monday, December 8th
Hello again Friends and Family,
WoW...slept in til almost 9:00 this morning. If you know me, you know that is way out of character for me but man o man was it good. I feel better this morning than I have in a long time. My hand was hurting so bad yesterday I took some percoset ...... IT WORKED !
Going to the ortho doc this afternoon and am expecting to get a cortisone injection.
Got the Christmas tree decorated this weekend. I was not in much of a mood for it but did contribute some I guess and it is beautiful. Since we are going to be staying close to home for the holidays it would only be right to have a tree.
Preacher Rick came for a visit yesterday too. I had the chance to talk to him about my issues with the Faith -vs- Fear thing. He has preached and I have read and understand that faith and fear cannot live in the same place, I have struggled with it alot lately too. My fear of facing the pain I did when blood clots were obstructing my catheter, left me doubting my committment to my faith. I think I got a better grip now on what the real issue is. Fear is OK and actually quite normal, fear of pain or of danger.... facing that fear with faith is the part that matters most. I think now I understand that I can face that fear, the fear of pain or suffering or loss with faith that God will get me through it! I am still trying to get my head wrapped all the way around it but for now, I feel much better about it.
I think one of the greatest blessings I have gotten through this is that I may one day be able to help a brother going through prostate cancer treatments. Can't believe there is much I have not experienced?
I have no new news to tell you about except that today is another beautiful day and I feel better today than I have in a long time....God is sooooooooooooooo good to me.
Will let everyone know what the doc says today, please pray he can fix this old hand. Wednesday is the day I hope to get rid of the catheter but am not thinking on it too much so I won't have to be disappointed again.
I hope it is a great Monday for all of you. Thank you for sharing this journey with me, it means more than I could ever express in words. Pray for all those who are sick and hurting and for each other.
Merry Christmas everybody.......I Love You All
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
WoW...slept in til almost 9:00 this morning. If you know me, you know that is way out of character for me but man o man was it good. I feel better this morning than I have in a long time. My hand was hurting so bad yesterday I took some percoset ...... IT WORKED !
Going to the ortho doc this afternoon and am expecting to get a cortisone injection.
Got the Christmas tree decorated this weekend. I was not in much of a mood for it but did contribute some I guess and it is beautiful. Since we are going to be staying close to home for the holidays it would only be right to have a tree.
Preacher Rick came for a visit yesterday too. I had the chance to talk to him about my issues with the Faith -vs- Fear thing. He has preached and I have read and understand that faith and fear cannot live in the same place, I have struggled with it alot lately too. My fear of facing the pain I did when blood clots were obstructing my catheter, left me doubting my committment to my faith. I think I got a better grip now on what the real issue is. Fear is OK and actually quite normal, fear of pain or of danger.... facing that fear with faith is the part that matters most. I think now I understand that I can face that fear, the fear of pain or suffering or loss with faith that God will get me through it! I am still trying to get my head wrapped all the way around it but for now, I feel much better about it.
I think one of the greatest blessings I have gotten through this is that I may one day be able to help a brother going through prostate cancer treatments. Can't believe there is much I have not experienced?
I have no new news to tell you about except that today is another beautiful day and I feel better today than I have in a long time....God is sooooooooooooooo good to me.
Will let everyone know what the doc says today, please pray he can fix this old hand. Wednesday is the day I hope to get rid of the catheter but am not thinking on it too much so I won't have to be disappointed again.
I hope it is a great Monday for all of you. Thank you for sharing this journey with me, it means more than I could ever express in words. Pray for all those who are sick and hurting and for each other.
Merry Christmas everybody.......I Love You All
"Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me"
Mike
Friday, December 5, 2008
TGIF 3 weeks and 2 days past surgery
Hello Friends,
Hope all is well with your and yours....sorry I was in a whiny mood yesterday but am better today. Slept really good (percoset is a great drug). Is a beautiful day today in Charlotte.
Yesterday I recieved a package in the mail....my blue ribbon pins and a roll of embroidered blue ribbons. My friend Ginger in Ohio sent me a cap with a blue ribbon embroidered on it and when I get around to it am gonna get a new picture on here.
By the way, I can tell many of you have been praying for me to feel better emotionally. I woke this morning with a new attitude and willingness to "stretch" out a bit even with my little friend...so, THANK YOU. Was told there might be some emotional stuff to deal with so I think it is safe to say I got to that point, good news is, I am cruising right on past it now!
No big plans for the weekend, B cancelled her trip to Florida to see her family. I encouraged her to go, that I would be OK but she wouldn't feel right leaving and if I got into trouble with a blockage or something....well, you know. I am thinking there is some christmas tree decorating in my future over the next coupla days? I can do anything from eye level to knee level...the rest is out of my reach limits!
I honestly dont have any real news. Things are staying pretty consistent right now. My bladder is healing and there has not been any blood in my urine for 4 days now. At the entry point (try to word it delicately) of my catheter there is some blood and minor irritation. A couple of "daubs" of some lidocaine gel usually does the trick. Hand is still bad but have an appointment with the ortho doc on Monday.
Time to go for now I reckon. As you continue to pray for me and my family, please lift up ALL those who are sick and hurting today, the homeless and helpless. Thank you all for caring and sharing and loving me.
I love you too !
" Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
Hope all is well with your and yours....sorry I was in a whiny mood yesterday but am better today. Slept really good (percoset is a great drug). Is a beautiful day today in Charlotte.
Yesterday I recieved a package in the mail....my blue ribbon pins and a roll of embroidered blue ribbons. My friend Ginger in Ohio sent me a cap with a blue ribbon embroidered on it and when I get around to it am gonna get a new picture on here.
By the way, I can tell many of you have been praying for me to feel better emotionally. I woke this morning with a new attitude and willingness to "stretch" out a bit even with my little friend...so, THANK YOU. Was told there might be some emotional stuff to deal with so I think it is safe to say I got to that point, good news is, I am cruising right on past it now!
No big plans for the weekend, B cancelled her trip to Florida to see her family. I encouraged her to go, that I would be OK but she wouldn't feel right leaving and if I got into trouble with a blockage or something....well, you know. I am thinking there is some christmas tree decorating in my future over the next coupla days? I can do anything from eye level to knee level...the rest is out of my reach limits!
I honestly dont have any real news. Things are staying pretty consistent right now. My bladder is healing and there has not been any blood in my urine for 4 days now. At the entry point (try to word it delicately) of my catheter there is some blood and minor irritation. A couple of "daubs" of some lidocaine gel usually does the trick. Hand is still bad but have an appointment with the ortho doc on Monday.
Time to go for now I reckon. As you continue to pray for me and my family, please lift up ALL those who are sick and hurting today, the homeless and helpless. Thank you all for caring and sharing and loving me.
I love you too !
" Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Ready, Set, ........DON'T GO !
Friends,
Well, today was the day, after 22 days with this catheter I was finally going to be emancipated. Went to the hospital for my second cystogram and then to the doc where I hoped to leave my little friend behind. DIDN'T HAPPEN ! Seems there is still a small area at the base of my bladder that has not healed yet. To say I am disappointed would be a gross understatement. It seems it has become more of a mental and emotional struggle now. The physical pain lessens everyday and is manageable. The struggle of dealing with my limitations with this appendage I have following me around get more and more difficult with each waking minute.
OK...done venting for awhile. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. B has had to cancel a trip to Florida and her nephew's birthday party. I said I'd be alright but she won't think of leaving now. The docs say it will heal and I will be OK but it is taking time....nothing has gone according to plan and I am beginning to think planning anything is an excercise in futility.
Good news is, the healing process is working and I am cancer free....what a blessing THAT is.
I have my friends and family who love me so much and while Im pretty sad and even a bit pissed off right now, I am so blessed and so fortunate.
My hand has given out again so I can stop whining in this message. Know I love you and appreciate you so much. Please continue to keep me and all who are sick and hurting and their families in your prayers. You are the greatest !
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me" Mike
Well, today was the day, after 22 days with this catheter I was finally going to be emancipated. Went to the hospital for my second cystogram and then to the doc where I hoped to leave my little friend behind. DIDN'T HAPPEN ! Seems there is still a small area at the base of my bladder that has not healed yet. To say I am disappointed would be a gross understatement. It seems it has become more of a mental and emotional struggle now. The physical pain lessens everyday and is manageable. The struggle of dealing with my limitations with this appendage I have following me around get more and more difficult with each waking minute.
OK...done venting for awhile. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. B has had to cancel a trip to Florida and her nephew's birthday party. I said I'd be alright but she won't think of leaving now. The docs say it will heal and I will be OK but it is taking time....nothing has gone according to plan and I am beginning to think planning anything is an excercise in futility.
Good news is, the healing process is working and I am cancer free....what a blessing THAT is.
I have my friends and family who love me so much and while Im pretty sad and even a bit pissed off right now, I am so blessed and so fortunate.
My hand has given out again so I can stop whining in this message. Know I love you and appreciate you so much. Please continue to keep me and all who are sick and hurting and their families in your prayers. You are the greatest !
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me" Mike
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Tuesday, December 2nd
Friends and Family,
Good "frosty" morning to all. Sorry I did not get around to posting anything yesterday...it was not a real good day. Had to have my catheter irrigated again but was no big deal. I do get anxious about it and tend to fear the worst is yet to come but it worked fine and I was spared any great discomfort. I have struggled lately with where to put the fear that wells up inside me just thinking about how bad it hurt before. I have read and have heard Preacher Rick say that faith and fear cannot occupy the same place. I know my faith is real but I know too my fear is real. How can I say that I have faith in God to heal me and that everything will be OK and in the next breath say I am afraid I am going to have an episode of such horrible pain. I have prayed for an answer and some understanding but it is not a clear picture for me yet........
The steri-strips that covered my incisions have all fallen off and most of the scabs are gone too, I have some pretty good scars on my belly now. I have said it will take alot of Coppertone to get them covered up this summer! Showers and dressing are getting easier now too as I have gotten into my routine and know what must be done and in what order. I don't know why but my skin is so very dry now. Once my belly heals completely I want to take a bath with some good ole baby oil and get good and slicked up. Hopefully that won't be as long as it has been?
Today I missed another bible study with my brothers at the IHOP. I was so looking forward to it today but am not comfortable taking this catheter bag into a restaurant and the leg bag that is very easy to conceal is just not comfortable. So, I will look forward to next week.
The choir's Christmas Program is in less than two weeks now. The music is beautiful and Cheryl has worked so hard on it but I will be missing it too. I have always said..."if ya don't practice, ya don't play". I have not been able to practice and this late in the game I can never learn it well enough to sing with them. I have every intention of being there listening though.
Yesterday I spent some time on some Prostate Cancer Awareness web sites. I have ordered some things for me and some things to share with others too.
Am thinking some cheesy grits sound good for breakfast this morning. Something nice and warm as I am cold so much of the time now it seems. At last check, I had lost over 20lbs since going into the hospital. Wasn't the best way to lose it but am glad I did and hopefully will keep it off.
Think I am done for this posting...yea, the hand is still numb. I may try to get in to see my ortho doc this week and maybe a shot of cortisone will fix it?
Thank you again for all your prayers. Please continue to remember me and all those everywhere who are sick and hurting. I have seen alot of treatments and had alot of medicines over the past 3 weeks but NONE have had a greater effect on me than PRAYERS !
I Love You All.....thank you ..... and Thank You Lord for Your blessings on Me.
Mike
Good "frosty" morning to all. Sorry I did not get around to posting anything yesterday...it was not a real good day. Had to have my catheter irrigated again but was no big deal. I do get anxious about it and tend to fear the worst is yet to come but it worked fine and I was spared any great discomfort. I have struggled lately with where to put the fear that wells up inside me just thinking about how bad it hurt before. I have read and have heard Preacher Rick say that faith and fear cannot occupy the same place. I know my faith is real but I know too my fear is real. How can I say that I have faith in God to heal me and that everything will be OK and in the next breath say I am afraid I am going to have an episode of such horrible pain. I have prayed for an answer and some understanding but it is not a clear picture for me yet........
The steri-strips that covered my incisions have all fallen off and most of the scabs are gone too, I have some pretty good scars on my belly now. I have said it will take alot of Coppertone to get them covered up this summer! Showers and dressing are getting easier now too as I have gotten into my routine and know what must be done and in what order. I don't know why but my skin is so very dry now. Once my belly heals completely I want to take a bath with some good ole baby oil and get good and slicked up. Hopefully that won't be as long as it has been?
Today I missed another bible study with my brothers at the IHOP. I was so looking forward to it today but am not comfortable taking this catheter bag into a restaurant and the leg bag that is very easy to conceal is just not comfortable. So, I will look forward to next week.
The choir's Christmas Program is in less than two weeks now. The music is beautiful and Cheryl has worked so hard on it but I will be missing it too. I have always said..."if ya don't practice, ya don't play". I have not been able to practice and this late in the game I can never learn it well enough to sing with them. I have every intention of being there listening though.
Yesterday I spent some time on some Prostate Cancer Awareness web sites. I have ordered some things for me and some things to share with others too.
Am thinking some cheesy grits sound good for breakfast this morning. Something nice and warm as I am cold so much of the time now it seems. At last check, I had lost over 20lbs since going into the hospital. Wasn't the best way to lose it but am glad I did and hopefully will keep it off.
Think I am done for this posting...yea, the hand is still numb. I may try to get in to see my ortho doc this week and maybe a shot of cortisone will fix it?
Thank you again for all your prayers. Please continue to remember me and all those everywhere who are sick and hurting. I have seen alot of treatments and had alot of medicines over the past 3 weeks but NONE have had a greater effect on me than PRAYERS !
I Love You All.....thank you ..... and Thank You Lord for Your blessings on Me.
Mike
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Sunday Afternoon
Friends and Family,
WoW....what an amazing week it has been. Honestly, all the days and night have run together for me. Two trips to the ER and an additional OR visit and 2 days in the hospital. I can only say now that I am blessed to be home and thankful the pain I suffered has subsided. I cried out to God many times and know now that so many of you called out to God and lifted me up...thank you.
It seems blood clots have been the culprit that sent me back to the hospital and to surgery again. My surgeon's partner Dr. Kram was so good to me/us and made life bearable when I thought I could take no more. I am still passing some clots, very much smaller and painlessly.
Thanksgiving Day was a day my family has looked forward to for so long. Turns out I spent it in the hospital but my wonderful family, my sons Chris and Patrick and their wives and children brought their personal T-Day wishes to me in my hospital room. It filled my heart with joy and gratitude and my eyes with tears..they are such good kids. Their T-day dinner was chicken wings 'cause they wanted to wait til I could come home for our real Thanksgiving dinner. I was discharged about noon on Friday and that evening we sat at my grandmother's drop leaf table filled with a bounty of food. Again, I was so full and even said I could not begin to ask a blessing on the meal 'cause I knew I would be crying.
God is so good and has been so good to me. The pain was almost unbearable and I cried a river of tears in agony but know now, I am so blessed and have so much to be thankful for.
Tomorrow is when I was supposed to return to the doc to have this catheter removed and a cystogram to insure the surgical connection between my bladder and urethra is intact. I am not sure that either of those things will happen?
I hate to continue to complain about my hand but it is still no better. Numbness and pain are constant in my left hand and I suspect I will be visiting my ortho doc to see what we can do about it.
It has been a good afternoon to bundle up and remember all the things we have to be thankful for. Today, a wonderful church friend weathered the rain and brought me a small gift.... a blue ribbon lapel pin. Just as the pink is for breast cancer survivors and awareness, the blue is for prostate cancer. What a priviledge it will be to wear it.
For all of you who are sharing this journey with me, thank you.....I love you for caring about me and loving me and my family. Some of you have spent hours in the emergency room this week and others still in my room, assuring me " it'll be OK". I have seen God in your faces and His touch in your hands....thank you.
I hope to give you another update tomorrow...til then, may God bless you richly.
I Love You All "Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
WoW....what an amazing week it has been. Honestly, all the days and night have run together for me. Two trips to the ER and an additional OR visit and 2 days in the hospital. I can only say now that I am blessed to be home and thankful the pain I suffered has subsided. I cried out to God many times and know now that so many of you called out to God and lifted me up...thank you.
It seems blood clots have been the culprit that sent me back to the hospital and to surgery again. My surgeon's partner Dr. Kram was so good to me/us and made life bearable when I thought I could take no more. I am still passing some clots, very much smaller and painlessly.
Thanksgiving Day was a day my family has looked forward to for so long. Turns out I spent it in the hospital but my wonderful family, my sons Chris and Patrick and their wives and children brought their personal T-Day wishes to me in my hospital room. It filled my heart with joy and gratitude and my eyes with tears..they are such good kids. Their T-day dinner was chicken wings 'cause they wanted to wait til I could come home for our real Thanksgiving dinner. I was discharged about noon on Friday and that evening we sat at my grandmother's drop leaf table filled with a bounty of food. Again, I was so full and even said I could not begin to ask a blessing on the meal 'cause I knew I would be crying.
God is so good and has been so good to me. The pain was almost unbearable and I cried a river of tears in agony but know now, I am so blessed and have so much to be thankful for.
Tomorrow is when I was supposed to return to the doc to have this catheter removed and a cystogram to insure the surgical connection between my bladder and urethra is intact. I am not sure that either of those things will happen?
I hate to continue to complain about my hand but it is still no better. Numbness and pain are constant in my left hand and I suspect I will be visiting my ortho doc to see what we can do about it.
It has been a good afternoon to bundle up and remember all the things we have to be thankful for. Today, a wonderful church friend weathered the rain and brought me a small gift.... a blue ribbon lapel pin. Just as the pink is for breast cancer survivors and awareness, the blue is for prostate cancer. What a priviledge it will be to wear it.
For all of you who are sharing this journey with me, thank you.....I love you for caring about me and loving me and my family. Some of you have spent hours in the emergency room this week and others still in my room, assuring me " it'll be OK". I have seen God in your faces and His touch in your hands....thank you.
I hope to give you another update tomorrow...til then, may God bless you richly.
I Love You All "Thank You Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
Friday, November 28, 2008
Home At Last
Home Sweet Home....we arrived at 12:30pm. We will have our Thanksgiving Meal this evening.
Love to All...B
Love to All...B
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving Update
Happy Thanksgiving. Mike is still in the hospital. We got him out of bed this morning and his catheter became blocked again. When this happens he is in excruciating pain. Not fun for me either. Anyhow, they had to remove it and install another (install sounds better than insert).
They will try again in the morning to get him out of bed. The doctor will be present when this happens, my hope is that if it becomes blocked with the doctor there, it will not escalate to excruciating pain. If it does become blocked they will take him to the OR at noon for the scope procedure again.
Love to All,
B
They will try again in the morning to get him out of bed. The doctor will be present when this happens, my hope is that if it becomes blocked with the doctor there, it will not escalate to excruciating pain. If it does become blocked they will take him to the OR at noon for the scope procedure again.
Love to All,
B
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
News from B
It's late Wednesday evening, Mike is in the hospital. Here's what happened. Late Tuesday afternoon we started seeing blood in the catheter tubes. We watched....at about 9pm we realized that the catheter was blocked. We did our best with our limited resources to clear the tube, we were not successful. So to the hospital we went.
They cleared the catheter and were preparing to send us home..this was at about 2am. When I noticed a large amount of blood in the tubing. Within about 15 minutes he was in excruciating pain. They could not clear the blockage this time. They were communicating with the urologist through out. At 2:25ish the decision was made to take him to the OR. The urologist arrived in about 15 minutes, the OR team was there in about 20 minutes.
They went in with a scope to see what was going on. His bladder had a large blood clot, which they cleared. Where his urethra was reattached to the base of his bladder is still healing and had a small area seeping. The doctor has assured us that he will be fine, this was just a little set back. The doctor was very pleased with his healing so far. Said it is just a slow process. (this was not the original surgeon, he is out of town for the holiday) He also told us that this type of bleed is very rare he had only see it 2 times in his career.
Again, Mike is going to be fine. Our hope is to be home mid-day on Thanksgiving.
Please continue to pray for continued healing.
Love to All B
They cleared the catheter and were preparing to send us home..this was at about 2am. When I noticed a large amount of blood in the tubing. Within about 15 minutes he was in excruciating pain. They could not clear the blockage this time. They were communicating with the urologist through out. At 2:25ish the decision was made to take him to the OR. The urologist arrived in about 15 minutes, the OR team was there in about 20 minutes.
They went in with a scope to see what was going on. His bladder had a large blood clot, which they cleared. Where his urethra was reattached to the base of his bladder is still healing and had a small area seeping. The doctor has assured us that he will be fine, this was just a little set back. The doctor was very pleased with his healing so far. Said it is just a slow process. (this was not the original surgeon, he is out of town for the holiday) He also told us that this type of bleed is very rare he had only see it 2 times in his career.
Again, Mike is going to be fine. Our hope is to be home mid-day on Thanksgiving.
Please continue to pray for continued healing.
Love to All B
Monday, November 24, 2008
Glass Half Full
Friends and Family,
I trust you all had a great weekend, a blessed Sabbath and a good first day back to work if you are there yet. My day started kinda early again. After retiring early, worn out from watching both my favorite football teams lose yesterday I was awakened about 1:00am with some pretty significant discomfort. A quick check of my catheter bag showed I had not voided anything in over 5 hours and had some spotting on the front of my "tidy-whitey" boxer briefs. 20 minutes later we are on the way to Lake Norman Regional Hospital Emergency Room. Mary Ann was the nurse and in less than 10 minutes she had evaluated the problem and remedied it. A blood clot had formed in the catheter and blocked the flow from my bladder. One good squeeze of what looked like a turkey baster and the dam broke and the flood waters came rushing through....ahhhhhhhhhh.
I asked later if there was anything I might could have done differently to prevent this kinda thing and she said "no". So......I was already scheduled to see the doc at 8:00am with great expectations of having this companion of mine for the past two weeks (my catheter) sent packing. W e l l ......doc said he was 99% sure everything was OK but wanted to be 100% sure before we removed it. I was sent to Presby Huntersville for a procedure called a cystogram. My bladder was filled with a radioactive contrasting fluid as pictures were taken. An almost immediate response from the radiologist said a leak at the base of my bladder was present as the contrast began migrating away from the base of my bladder where the urethra had been reattached. Pictures in hand and head hanging low, back to the doc where he said my little friend will be "hanging around" for at least another week. I'd be lying sure enough if I said I was not real unhappy and disappointed.
Well, I went to the bathroom and had myself a little pity party, cried a little bit and just got pissed off. Got all that out and turned that page! I have SO much to be thankful for, I had a good breakfast this morning, I have heat in my home and a warm dry bed and more friends and family loving me and praying for me than anyone else I know. It is not the way I had planned to spend Thanksgiving with my children and grandchildren but at least I get to spend it with them, all 10 of us will be together. I don't have cancer in my body anymore either, that is an amazing blessing. God is so good to me and now I feel a little bit ashamed for getting so upset. And, God sent a little reminder to me......hardly got home from all the "stuff" this morning and two church friends are knocking on the door. They came to clean our gutters before it starts to rain today. GOD IS SO GOOD !!!
Time to do little things in preparation of the family coming in two days. I suspect it may take me a bit longer than I planned but I'll make it happen. First thing I'm gonna do is finishing filling up my cup that I have had on my chair side table all week. It was half empty this morning.....now it is half full and I am gonna go finishing filling it up!
Thank you ALL for your love and prayers for me and my family....and THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR BLESSINGS ON ME!
Mike
I trust you all had a great weekend, a blessed Sabbath and a good first day back to work if you are there yet. My day started kinda early again. After retiring early, worn out from watching both my favorite football teams lose yesterday I was awakened about 1:00am with some pretty significant discomfort. A quick check of my catheter bag showed I had not voided anything in over 5 hours and had some spotting on the front of my "tidy-whitey" boxer briefs. 20 minutes later we are on the way to Lake Norman Regional Hospital Emergency Room. Mary Ann was the nurse and in less than 10 minutes she had evaluated the problem and remedied it. A blood clot had formed in the catheter and blocked the flow from my bladder. One good squeeze of what looked like a turkey baster and the dam broke and the flood waters came rushing through....ahhhhhhhhhh.
I asked later if there was anything I might could have done differently to prevent this kinda thing and she said "no". So......I was already scheduled to see the doc at 8:00am with great expectations of having this companion of mine for the past two weeks (my catheter) sent packing. W e l l ......doc said he was 99% sure everything was OK but wanted to be 100% sure before we removed it. I was sent to Presby Huntersville for a procedure called a cystogram. My bladder was filled with a radioactive contrasting fluid as pictures were taken. An almost immediate response from the radiologist said a leak at the base of my bladder was present as the contrast began migrating away from the base of my bladder where the urethra had been reattached. Pictures in hand and head hanging low, back to the doc where he said my little friend will be "hanging around" for at least another week. I'd be lying sure enough if I said I was not real unhappy and disappointed.
Well, I went to the bathroom and had myself a little pity party, cried a little bit and just got pissed off. Got all that out and turned that page! I have SO much to be thankful for, I had a good breakfast this morning, I have heat in my home and a warm dry bed and more friends and family loving me and praying for me than anyone else I know. It is not the way I had planned to spend Thanksgiving with my children and grandchildren but at least I get to spend it with them, all 10 of us will be together. I don't have cancer in my body anymore either, that is an amazing blessing. God is so good to me and now I feel a little bit ashamed for getting so upset. And, God sent a little reminder to me......hardly got home from all the "stuff" this morning and two church friends are knocking on the door. They came to clean our gutters before it starts to rain today. GOD IS SO GOOD !!!
Time to do little things in preparation of the family coming in two days. I suspect it may take me a bit longer than I planned but I'll make it happen. First thing I'm gonna do is finishing filling up my cup that I have had on my chair side table all week. It was half empty this morning.....now it is half full and I am gonna go finishing filling it up!
Thank you ALL for your love and prayers for me and my family....and THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR BLESSINGS ON ME!
Mike
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Saturday
Friends and Family,
Hope everyone got a chance to sleep in this morning and feels great....I slept pretty good and feel wonderful this morning...it's beautiful outside, sunny but cold and I am cancer free...now there is a enough reason for celebrating all day long.
Hopefully I will wake up only two more mornings with this catheter as I see the doc on Monday. Today some possible options for what I will do for the possibility of incontinence was the topic of discussion after breakfast. Call me crazy but I feel that problem will become a "no problem" very soon....I just have a positve feeling about it. In any event, there are lots of options available.
Tomorrow is Sunday and I would love to think I could go to church but am kind of afraid. There are lotsa steps to manage and I know there would be alot of hugs and hand shakes and as much as I love you all, I don't want to get a bug right now.
I woke in the night last night and realized I was about to sneeze...I freaked! I know it was gonna hurt so bad and it really scared me but after 3 quick "achoo's", I went back to sleep....no big deal at all, didn't hurt a bit! Is amazing what kinda stuff can get into your head sometimes huh?
Well, think it is about time to begin the shower routine and get ready for the day of sports TV.
I continue to see God is so many different places and faces .... He is not an amazing god, He is THE Amazing God !!!!
Have a wonderful Saturday, tell someone you love them and pray for all those who may be sick and hurting today. Thank you for all your prayers for me..... I Love You All
"Thank you Lord, for Your blessings on me" Mike
Hope everyone got a chance to sleep in this morning and feels great....I slept pretty good and feel wonderful this morning...it's beautiful outside, sunny but cold and I am cancer free...now there is a enough reason for celebrating all day long.
Hopefully I will wake up only two more mornings with this catheter as I see the doc on Monday. Today some possible options for what I will do for the possibility of incontinence was the topic of discussion after breakfast. Call me crazy but I feel that problem will become a "no problem" very soon....I just have a positve feeling about it. In any event, there are lots of options available.
Tomorrow is Sunday and I would love to think I could go to church but am kind of afraid. There are lotsa steps to manage and I know there would be alot of hugs and hand shakes and as much as I love you all, I don't want to get a bug right now.
I woke in the night last night and realized I was about to sneeze...I freaked! I know it was gonna hurt so bad and it really scared me but after 3 quick "achoo's", I went back to sleep....no big deal at all, didn't hurt a bit! Is amazing what kinda stuff can get into your head sometimes huh?
Well, think it is about time to begin the shower routine and get ready for the day of sports TV.
I continue to see God is so many different places and faces .... He is not an amazing god, He is THE Amazing God !!!!
Have a wonderful Saturday, tell someone you love them and pray for all those who may be sick and hurting today. Thank you for all your prayers for me..... I Love You All
"Thank you Lord, for Your blessings on me" Mike
Friday, November 21, 2008
Friends,
Is about for all your working folks to pack it in for the week, you've earned a great weekend. As you saw from my earlier post it was an early start for me today. I did get in a little walk around the block, first time all the way around...I was so tired when I got back. Today was another big milestone for me....(WARNING: yes, I am still a boy!!) I got to spend some time in the bathroom reading....YEEE HAAA. I've been waiting for a week.
I also found some pretty interesting stats today that I want to share. Did you know that over 186,000 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer this year and over 28,000 death will occur this year? Prostate cancer is the leading cause of death in our country for men. Men, buck up and schedule those physicals and ladies, nag you men til they do it! My oldest son is only 32 years old but I am already on him about getting his physical and have his PSA (prostate specific antigen) checked. Yea, I know, doc will say you don't need to worry about it til you reach 45-50 years old BUT - now we have a family history!
Our church family continues to pour blessings on us. Meals have been prepared and delivered everyday. Our Emmaus community has also been sending their support in posted comments and emails. Just as I said many times, God will show up and show off -- He surely has !!!
I hope you all have a great weekend. Am sure I will be hanging close to home and staying in to stay warm. About 33 shopping days left til Christmas.... I only need one.
I Love You ALL so much and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
Is about for all your working folks to pack it in for the week, you've earned a great weekend. As you saw from my earlier post it was an early start for me today. I did get in a little walk around the block, first time all the way around...I was so tired when I got back. Today was another big milestone for me....(WARNING: yes, I am still a boy!!) I got to spend some time in the bathroom reading....YEEE HAAA. I've been waiting for a week.
I also found some pretty interesting stats today that I want to share. Did you know that over 186,000 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer this year and over 28,000 death will occur this year? Prostate cancer is the leading cause of death in our country for men. Men, buck up and schedule those physicals and ladies, nag you men til they do it! My oldest son is only 32 years old but I am already on him about getting his physical and have his PSA (prostate specific antigen) checked. Yea, I know, doc will say you don't need to worry about it til you reach 45-50 years old BUT - now we have a family history!
Our church family continues to pour blessings on us. Meals have been prepared and delivered everyday. Our Emmaus community has also been sending their support in posted comments and emails. Just as I said many times, God will show up and show off -- He surely has !!!
I hope you all have a great weekend. Am sure I will be hanging close to home and staying in to stay warm. About 33 shopping days left til Christmas.... I only need one.
I Love You ALL so much and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
"Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me"
Mike
Good Friday Morning Friends,
Ain't it great to be alive on a beautiful, crisp fall morning? Actually my morning started about 3:15, just couldn't sleep for some reason so decided to get up and see what wonderful things the world has to offer today.
Again, I am overwhelmed with the love and support of so many people. I say with a great degree of certainty that God has smiled alot lately seeing his children taking such good care of one who is struggling just a bit.
I think I get stronger each day, but each day has it own set of challenges too. I have a catheter and while it is not painful, it is a hindrance to many normal routines. I call it my "purse" now and when I go out or if we know we are having company, I will put my purse in one of those "environmentally conscious" type grocery bags to hide it. Seems to work for now. If all goes well and as planned it will be gone before lunch on Monday. YEE HAA
One wound site is still seeping some (there was 6 incisions). I was thinking it would be all healed up by now but it is being a bit stubborn. It happens to be the same site where my drain was. The drain was removed on Monday morning and the doc said it'll close up on it's on.....well, it's taking it's own sweet time about it.
Did some online shopping yesterday too....shopping, not buying. How do you think I would look in a pretty light blue cap with a light blue ribbon on it? Darn shame they won't have some of them on sale a week from today when many of the otherwise sane people I know, go temporarily insane in shopping malls.
I know there are others lying in hospital rooms all over the world right now, just as I was a week ago. I pray for them to be renewed and restored, healed and blessed in the same ways I have been. Thanksgiving will have a very special meaning for me this year. I can tell you without a doubt, I will never make it through our dinner blessing without losing it. Know what though, it's OK.
Hands are almost completely numb again now, gotta cut this edition off. Thanks again for all you do for me and mine. No days goes by that you do not make me smile and or cry..... I LOVE YOU ALL.
Know I am praying for you too.......... Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me ! Mike
Ain't it great to be alive on a beautiful, crisp fall morning? Actually my morning started about 3:15, just couldn't sleep for some reason so decided to get up and see what wonderful things the world has to offer today.
Again, I am overwhelmed with the love and support of so many people. I say with a great degree of certainty that God has smiled alot lately seeing his children taking such good care of one who is struggling just a bit.
I think I get stronger each day, but each day has it own set of challenges too. I have a catheter and while it is not painful, it is a hindrance to many normal routines. I call it my "purse" now and when I go out or if we know we are having company, I will put my purse in one of those "environmentally conscious" type grocery bags to hide it. Seems to work for now. If all goes well and as planned it will be gone before lunch on Monday. YEE HAA
One wound site is still seeping some (there was 6 incisions). I was thinking it would be all healed up by now but it is being a bit stubborn. It happens to be the same site where my drain was. The drain was removed on Monday morning and the doc said it'll close up on it's on.....well, it's taking it's own sweet time about it.
Did some online shopping yesterday too....shopping, not buying. How do you think I would look in a pretty light blue cap with a light blue ribbon on it? Darn shame they won't have some of them on sale a week from today when many of the otherwise sane people I know, go temporarily insane in shopping malls.
I know there are others lying in hospital rooms all over the world right now, just as I was a week ago. I pray for them to be renewed and restored, healed and blessed in the same ways I have been. Thanksgiving will have a very special meaning for me this year. I can tell you without a doubt, I will never make it through our dinner blessing without losing it. Know what though, it's OK.
Hands are almost completely numb again now, gotta cut this edition off. Thanks again for all you do for me and mine. No days goes by that you do not make me smile and or cry..... I LOVE YOU ALL.
Know I am praying for you too.......... Thank you Lord for Your blessings on me ! Mike
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Thursday Part 2
Friends,
Any guesses on what was for dinner last nite? Actually it was salmon, sauted asparagus and risotto w/parmesan cheese....Thanks Teresa, it was great. Today has certainly been my biggest day yet. Got out and took a walk but realized that I am certainly NOT close to full strength. It was great to be out tho....
The more I have thot about this Q&A thing, the less appealing the idea became so.....I guess I will wait to see what questions may come up and I will do my best to describe how it applies to me.
I have learned more about my body in recent weeks than I knew in all my previous life. I was one of those people, not just men but everyone, that did'nt know there is actually a prostate cancer awareness ribbon just like for breast cancer awareness. It is a pretty light blue and you can be assured I will be sporting one soon. Why do think we didn't know? I cant say for sure but am gonna say I think it is because we "boys" dont like sharing things like that...makes us look weak! Brothers, GOD does not make mistakes and we are just a part of something much bigger than ourselves! Man, I gotta change channels or I know I will get preachy.
My hands, especially my left, remain very weak and my left hand has alot of pain too. I am told it is not that unusual. I can cough today without the fear I will cause my stomach to explode with all 6 incisions coming apart. I did feel like a sneeze was coming on yesterday and did everything I could think of and went through every gyration I knew to suppress it -- it worked !
It's 3:30 in the afternoon now. Time to move about a bit more maybe. Thanks for visiting with me today. Oh yea...wieghed today after my shower...I am 35 lbs lighter than I was last week at this time. Doc told me he forced more fluids than I could have possibly been able to drink....think it's a safe bet I have gotten rid of most of it !
Please continue to pray for me and my family, thanks for your love and support. Til next time....
Thank you Lord, for your blessings on me, Mike
Any guesses on what was for dinner last nite? Actually it was salmon, sauted asparagus and risotto w/parmesan cheese....Thanks Teresa, it was great. Today has certainly been my biggest day yet. Got out and took a walk but realized that I am certainly NOT close to full strength. It was great to be out tho....
The more I have thot about this Q&A thing, the less appealing the idea became so.....I guess I will wait to see what questions may come up and I will do my best to describe how it applies to me.
I have learned more about my body in recent weeks than I knew in all my previous life. I was one of those people, not just men but everyone, that did'nt know there is actually a prostate cancer awareness ribbon just like for breast cancer awareness. It is a pretty light blue and you can be assured I will be sporting one soon. Why do think we didn't know? I cant say for sure but am gonna say I think it is because we "boys" dont like sharing things like that...makes us look weak! Brothers, GOD does not make mistakes and we are just a part of something much bigger than ourselves! Man, I gotta change channels or I know I will get preachy.
My hands, especially my left, remain very weak and my left hand has alot of pain too. I am told it is not that unusual. I can cough today without the fear I will cause my stomach to explode with all 6 incisions coming apart. I did feel like a sneeze was coming on yesterday and did everything I could think of and went through every gyration I knew to suppress it -- it worked !
It's 3:30 in the afternoon now. Time to move about a bit more maybe. Thanks for visiting with me today. Oh yea...wieghed today after my shower...I am 35 lbs lighter than I was last week at this time. Doc told me he forced more fluids than I could have possibly been able to drink....think it's a safe bet I have gotten rid of most of it !
Please continue to pray for me and my family, thanks for your love and support. Til next time....
Thank you Lord, for your blessings on me, Mike
T-Day is only one week away !
Friends and Family,
Woke up this morning and realized that I experience these flashes, moments when I feel perfect....no pain, no soreness, no discomfort and then it passes again to a feeling of being just less than perfect and then again in a few minutes or few hours I will have that "perfect" feeling again. I believe those "special moments" will begin to come closer together.
Had a great dinner last night, was the first meal that actually had some defined taste in over a week. Our friend Teresa came over, fixed the whole meal and served it...it was great. Bet cha wonder what it was? Maybe I will tell ya later and let cha just guess for now...
Preacher Rick visited too and brought news of a gift from the church, specifically the United Methodist Men. I continued to be blown away by the way God shows His face in my life. When leaving for the doc yesterday I commented how I wished I had had the time to get up leaves and clean the gutters on the house. I know in time I will get to it and it'll be OK. Rick told me it would be taken care of and someone will be coming in a day or two to take care of it for me/us. Again, I was moved to tears. GOD IS SO GOOD !
Goals for today are getting to the mailbox and back by myself and sorting through a giant pile of mail that has accumulated over the past week or so. I am gonna do that little Q and A thing here later too.
I believe there is a bowl of Cheerios in my immediate future now. It's a beautiful day outside. I hope I never live long enough to take for granted one second of this blessed life I live.
Later friends.......... Thank you Lord, for you blessings on me ! MR
Woke up this morning and realized that I experience these flashes, moments when I feel perfect....no pain, no soreness, no discomfort and then it passes again to a feeling of being just less than perfect and then again in a few minutes or few hours I will have that "perfect" feeling again. I believe those "special moments" will begin to come closer together.
Had a great dinner last night, was the first meal that actually had some defined taste in over a week. Our friend Teresa came over, fixed the whole meal and served it...it was great. Bet cha wonder what it was? Maybe I will tell ya later and let cha just guess for now...
Preacher Rick visited too and brought news of a gift from the church, specifically the United Methodist Men. I continued to be blown away by the way God shows His face in my life. When leaving for the doc yesterday I commented how I wished I had had the time to get up leaves and clean the gutters on the house. I know in time I will get to it and it'll be OK. Rick told me it would be taken care of and someone will be coming in a day or two to take care of it for me/us. Again, I was moved to tears. GOD IS SO GOOD !
Goals for today are getting to the mailbox and back by myself and sorting through a giant pile of mail that has accumulated over the past week or so. I am gonna do that little Q and A thing here later too.
I believe there is a bowl of Cheerios in my immediate future now. It's a beautiful day outside. I hope I never live long enough to take for granted one second of this blessed life I live.
Later friends.......... Thank you Lord, for you blessings on me ! MR
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Staple Remover.
Wednesday afternoon and a week ago about this time I suppose the docs were stapling the holes in my belly? Today was the day there were due out and I dreaded it since yesterday. I had this vision of the same kind of staple remover that sets on the desk here beside me would be what they were using --NOT !! Turns out they were much like a little pair of scissors and everyone one came out perfectly and more important - PAINLESSLY
Didn't get to see the doc today tho'...seems he got caught in a surgery that ran over and we needed to wait or reschedule. With the way I messed up things last week with my issues, I knew I wasn't gonna be complaining. If I were him tho, would make a note to self.."no more surgeries on Wednesdays"!
God continues to show Himself in many ways and places....another stack of beautiful cards in the mailbox today. Thank you all so very much.
Tomorrow I think I am gonna do a little Q and A thing on here and tell ya about some of the little things I've learned in a week and that you just may be wondering about. If you got any questions, fire away....but don't ask if you dont want me to tell ya !
Have a great night, continue your prayers for me (please), for sick folks everywhere and for each other.
I Love You ALL.... "Thank you Lord, for your blessings on me" Mike
Didn't get to see the doc today tho'...seems he got caught in a surgery that ran over and we needed to wait or reschedule. With the way I messed up things last week with my issues, I knew I wasn't gonna be complaining. If I were him tho, would make a note to self.."no more surgeries on Wednesdays"!
God continues to show Himself in many ways and places....another stack of beautiful cards in the mailbox today. Thank you all so very much.
Tomorrow I think I am gonna do a little Q and A thing on here and tell ya about some of the little things I've learned in a week and that you just may be wondering about. If you got any questions, fire away....but don't ask if you dont want me to tell ya !
Have a great night, continue your prayers for me (please), for sick folks everywhere and for each other.
I Love You ALL.... "Thank you Lord, for your blessings on me" Mike
One week anniversary
Friends and Family,
It's just after 7:00am on Wednesday morning, November 19th...one week ago about this same time I was being wheeled down a hallway and into an operating room. Sure wish I could remember more about my arrival in the room there, I so wanted to see the robot they were going to use for the procedure. There is a nice picture of it and my docs located in a few places around the hospital but would have been neat to see it up close and personal.
Yesterday was a good day. I am trying to set goals for each day and increase them each day aswell. Yesterday's goals were to walk to the mailbox and to fold the clean laundry while sitting. Sounds easy enough huh? Didn't get either one of 'em done! Today I got up feeling ambitious and made some jello. Was the only thing I got to eat in the hospital that was any good at all. Any one who knows me knows how much I love to eat but since coming home, I have almost no appetite and nothing tastes like it is supposed too. Have been told it is a reaction to some of the meds or possible anesthesia and will pass. Good news is maybe I can lose a few pounds in the process.
Today is gonna be a big road trip for me too...going back to doc to get the staples out. I have never had a problem with needles or I.V.'s or giving blood or anything like that til last Sunday when it took four nurses, six tries to get a new I.V. port opened and now I am so not wanting it to hurt anymore. That you can count as my first little "whine" and yes, there will be more I'm sure before this chapter in my life is done.
My daddy came home from hospital yesterday too. For those who might not have gotten the word, while I was still in C.C.U. last Friday, they were taking Daddy to the hospital with chest pains and shortness of breath. They kept that little secret from me til Saturday and told me once I had made the turn to pain controlled recovery. Turns out he has some gall bladder issues and test results, including a stress test indicate he is OK for now. I felt pretty helpless and still do, my brother Dean in Texas was torn as to what he should do with Daddy and brother in the hosital in two different cities 4 hours apart and a day's travel for him. My sister Kim and some Uncles and Aunts kept us updated and informed as best they could and for now...all is well. Daddy and I needed to hear each others voices yesterday and we did talk for a while.
One of the big issues I am having to deal with is all the "stuff" people are doing for me/us. Not a day has gone by in a week there hasn't been a card or cards in the mailbox. Flowers, gift boxes and baskets, phone calls and emails and the kids at church sent me a special gift too. I want to get a picture of it to post on here. It just overwhelms me to tears everyday to see how much I am loved and cared about. It is much easier for me to be on the "givin" side than on the "gettin". Thank you all so very much.
Think I told ya'll yesterday I got some nerve issues going on in my hands and I am hitting the backspace more than any other key right now so I best go and try to do more later. For those who respond here, thanks. I get excited when I see a comment has been posted. Will give you an update after I see doc today. In the mean time, let's celebrate my one week anniversary being cancer free! WOO HOO !!! Love You All
Thank you Lord, for your blessings on Me.... Mike
It's just after 7:00am on Wednesday morning, November 19th...one week ago about this same time I was being wheeled down a hallway and into an operating room. Sure wish I could remember more about my arrival in the room there, I so wanted to see the robot they were going to use for the procedure. There is a nice picture of it and my docs located in a few places around the hospital but would have been neat to see it up close and personal.
Yesterday was a good day. I am trying to set goals for each day and increase them each day aswell. Yesterday's goals were to walk to the mailbox and to fold the clean laundry while sitting. Sounds easy enough huh? Didn't get either one of 'em done! Today I got up feeling ambitious and made some jello. Was the only thing I got to eat in the hospital that was any good at all. Any one who knows me knows how much I love to eat but since coming home, I have almost no appetite and nothing tastes like it is supposed too. Have been told it is a reaction to some of the meds or possible anesthesia and will pass. Good news is maybe I can lose a few pounds in the process.
Today is gonna be a big road trip for me too...going back to doc to get the staples out. I have never had a problem with needles or I.V.'s or giving blood or anything like that til last Sunday when it took four nurses, six tries to get a new I.V. port opened and now I am so not wanting it to hurt anymore. That you can count as my first little "whine" and yes, there will be more I'm sure before this chapter in my life is done.
My daddy came home from hospital yesterday too. For those who might not have gotten the word, while I was still in C.C.U. last Friday, they were taking Daddy to the hospital with chest pains and shortness of breath. They kept that little secret from me til Saturday and told me once I had made the turn to pain controlled recovery. Turns out he has some gall bladder issues and test results, including a stress test indicate he is OK for now. I felt pretty helpless and still do, my brother Dean in Texas was torn as to what he should do with Daddy and brother in the hosital in two different cities 4 hours apart and a day's travel for him. My sister Kim and some Uncles and Aunts kept us updated and informed as best they could and for now...all is well. Daddy and I needed to hear each others voices yesterday and we did talk for a while.
One of the big issues I am having to deal with is all the "stuff" people are doing for me/us. Not a day has gone by in a week there hasn't been a card or cards in the mailbox. Flowers, gift boxes and baskets, phone calls and emails and the kids at church sent me a special gift too. I want to get a picture of it to post on here. It just overwhelms me to tears everyday to see how much I am loved and cared about. It is much easier for me to be on the "givin" side than on the "gettin". Thank you all so very much.
Think I told ya'll yesterday I got some nerve issues going on in my hands and I am hitting the backspace more than any other key right now so I best go and try to do more later. For those who respond here, thanks. I get excited when I see a comment has been posted. Will give you an update after I see doc today. In the mean time, let's celebrate my one week anniversary being cancer free! WOO HOO !!! Love You All
Thank you Lord, for your blessings on Me.... Mike
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Home again
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Friends and Family, Just as I knew and all of you said, I have made it through to the other side and today sit in the same place where I started this blog. There is so much to tell and I want to tell it all but that too will take some time. My physical condition is good I think and meets or exceeds every expectation the doctors have. I cannot do much typing at one time as the nerves in my left hand, specifically the ulnar(check me on that one) was damaged by what I think were I.V. ports. I am confident that too will mend in time. For this entry I do want to tell you about one GIANT piece of good news. The post-op biopsy revealed a greater percentage of cancer than the original biopsy but ALL margin were clear and with the complete removal of my prostate, God has made me CANCER FREE once again.
I have read your cards and emails and felt your prayers and honestly am overwhelmed by it all. Feeling so much love from so many people from literally all over the world is an amazing thing...it has filled me to overflowing more that a few times already. Thank you all.
Think it is time to begin the bath time adventure....please continue to keep me and my family in your prayers.
I Love You All ~~~~~ Thank You Lord, for your blessings on Me ! ~~~~~ Mike
Friends and Family, Just as I knew and all of you said, I have made it through to the other side and today sit in the same place where I started this blog. There is so much to tell and I want to tell it all but that too will take some time. My physical condition is good I think and meets or exceeds every expectation the doctors have. I cannot do much typing at one time as the nerves in my left hand, specifically the ulnar(check me on that one) was damaged by what I think were I.V. ports. I am confident that too will mend in time. For this entry I do want to tell you about one GIANT piece of good news. The post-op biopsy revealed a greater percentage of cancer than the original biopsy but ALL margin were clear and with the complete removal of my prostate, God has made me CANCER FREE once again.
I have read your cards and emails and felt your prayers and honestly am overwhelmed by it all. Feeling so much love from so many people from literally all over the world is an amazing thing...it has filled me to overflowing more that a few times already. Thank you all.
Think it is time to begin the bath time adventure....please continue to keep me and my family in your prayers.
I Love You All ~~~~~ Thank You Lord, for your blessings on Me ! ~~~~~ Mike
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Sunday Update from B
We are out of ICU and in a regular room. WOO HOO! Mike started on a liquid diet today and is doing great. I think we have reached the top of the hill (or should I say mountain) and it will be down hill from here. Thank you again for your prayers and support.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Saturday Night Update from B
WOW - what a difference a few hours can make. Mike is doing much better tonight. He took a very small walk this afternoon and sat in a chair for a while this evening. I broke the news about his dad. His dad is doing good and will have more test on his heart on Monday.
Thanks for all of your support, prayers and well wishes.
Thanks for all of your support, prayers and well wishes.
Update from B
Nothing has gone as planned. Here is the update:
Wed - Surgery lasted 9 hours (should have been 5). The size and shape of his prostate made it difficult and slow going. He stayed in recovery 4 hours (should have been 1 1/2), his kidney's did not bounce back quickly because of the length of the surgery. Hd was taken to ICU. That night was very tough, they did not have the pain managed well.
Thu - They changed the pain management to a morphine drip with a button where he can give himself more every 10 minutes if needed. This was a tremendous help and the pain management has been good ever since. His urine output is getting better. We got some sleep Thursday night.
Fri - He is still in ICU. He is getting better. All of his blood work and other numbers are good. They are keeping him in ICU to carefully watch the balance of the drainage tube vs. the catheter. I just received word from Mike's brother that they have taken Mike's dad to the hospital with chest pains (I have not told Mike yet.)
Sat - Mike is still in ICU. It has been a rough morning. Mike is nauseous. This is normal. The 3rd day is suppose to be the toughest. The urine output is good, all numbers are where they are suppose to be. We will get him out of bed today and have him try to walk. This will hopefully help with the gas, pressure and nauseous. Mike's dad is in ICU in Kenansville (Mike does not know). He has gallstones and is having irregular heart beat. If Mike is feeling better this afternoon I will tell him.
Please keep praying for us. Feel free to share with those who care and love us
Wed - Surgery lasted 9 hours (should have been 5). The size and shape of his prostate made it difficult and slow going. He stayed in recovery 4 hours (should have been 1 1/2), his kidney's did not bounce back quickly because of the length of the surgery. Hd was taken to ICU. That night was very tough, they did not have the pain managed well.
Thu - They changed the pain management to a morphine drip with a button where he can give himself more every 10 minutes if needed. This was a tremendous help and the pain management has been good ever since. His urine output is getting better. We got some sleep Thursday night.
Fri - He is still in ICU. He is getting better. All of his blood work and other numbers are good. They are keeping him in ICU to carefully watch the balance of the drainage tube vs. the catheter. I just received word from Mike's brother that they have taken Mike's dad to the hospital with chest pains (I have not told Mike yet.)
Sat - Mike is still in ICU. It has been a rough morning. Mike is nauseous. This is normal. The 3rd day is suppose to be the toughest. The urine output is good, all numbers are where they are suppose to be. We will get him out of bed today and have him try to walk. This will hopefully help with the gas, pressure and nauseous. Mike's dad is in ICU in Kenansville (Mike does not know). He has gallstones and is having irregular heart beat. If Mike is feeling better this afternoon I will tell him.
Please keep praying for us. Feel free to share with those who care and love us
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
About 12 hours to go now...
It's Tuesday evening about 5:30 and like they used to say back home...."I'm in the short rows now". For those who may not understand that saying, please just ask someone, it's way to hard to explain here :-)
The pre-op stuff went as planned, give a little blood, do a little X-ray and do ALOT of forms. I suspect THAT part of medical technology will never change?
Show time is 6:00 in the morning and the main attraction is at 7:00. I can honestly say I am not a bit nervous (good thing too as I have 32 oz of Magnesium Citrate in my system).
Seriously, I have had so many good wishes and prayer today and all this past week. Messages on here and cards in the mailbox and text messages. Few things in life are more overwhelming than experiencing the love of other poured out on you. For myself and my Family, thank you all so very much...I love you too.
Today I will turn off of the old road I have travelled for a long time and tomorrow will turn onto a new road with many new sights and adventures in store. What a blessing it is to share this journey with all of you.
As today come to and end, the sun sets and night brings a need to sleep and rest I remember the song Tommie and I sang just a few weeks ago..... " I've a roof up above me, I've a good place to sleep. There's food on my table and shoes on my feet. You gave me your love Lord, and a fine family. And I thank you Lord, for your blessings on me." Amen!
The pre-op stuff went as planned, give a little blood, do a little X-ray and do ALOT of forms. I suspect THAT part of medical technology will never change?
Show time is 6:00 in the morning and the main attraction is at 7:00. I can honestly say I am not a bit nervous (good thing too as I have 32 oz of Magnesium Citrate in my system).
Seriously, I have had so many good wishes and prayer today and all this past week. Messages on here and cards in the mailbox and text messages. Few things in life are more overwhelming than experiencing the love of other poured out on you. For myself and my Family, thank you all so very much...I love you too.
Today I will turn off of the old road I have travelled for a long time and tomorrow will turn onto a new road with many new sights and adventures in store. What a blessing it is to share this journey with all of you.
As today come to and end, the sun sets and night brings a need to sleep and rest I remember the song Tommie and I sang just a few weeks ago..... " I've a roof up above me, I've a good place to sleep. There's food on my table and shoes on my feet. You gave me your love Lord, and a fine family. And I thank you Lord, for your blessings on me." Amen!
Surgery Eve
Today is November 11, 2008. I have filled in alot of what my journey has been so far but so much more has happened. Age and confusion cloud some of my memory and I feel I may have even left some good parts out. What I want to do here is try and list some of the highlights in my life, on this journey so far.....
I attended some Emmaus events a couple of weeks ago and several people came to me just to say "we are praying for you Mike", people I had not spoken too in weeks or months, they knew and were praying.
Got a phone call from a man, a friend of a friend, I didn't even know. He wanted to share anything about his experience with prostate surgery that might help me.
A friend at church came up to tell me he had already been down the road I am turning on to and if he could do anything to help, let him know. He offered to let me read his journal.
I have already gotten many cards and notes from people at church, just lending their support and friendship and assuring me I am in their prayers.
Sunday evening at a Chrysalis Event, Chris Westmoreland came up to me, gave me a big ole Chris hug and said "we are so praying for you". He is such a nice guy.
Preacher have been praying for me....Rick, Jimmy Howard, Bob Jack, Gail Montgomery, Bird McCormick, Patience Brumley, Chris W. and others Im sure I dont even know.
Ive been told I am on prayer lists from Beulaville, NC to Ocoee, Florida to Dallas, Texas and countless points in between. Prayer is a mighty powerful thing.
This morning....what an incredible outpouring of love and support. Our regular Tuesday morning breakfast meeting for bible study and prayer....we filled up the who room...14 people - my family of friends were there to pray for me, pray with me, hug me, encourage me and yes, even cry with me. Yes, Donna Stroupe and Ronna Privette and Brenda ALL got up and came to breakfast, just for me ! What a great feeling. It is difficult at times to accept so much love and support. I do much better on the giving side than being on the recieving side. It is just one bright star in a sky full of stars, blessings that God gives me, has given me for no other reason than he just loves me and has put these wonderful people in my life to show it on His behalf.
Later today I go for my pre-op visit with the hospital and begin the "purge". I am so not looking forward to that part but by tomorrow this time, I wont even care !
I attended some Emmaus events a couple of weeks ago and several people came to me just to say "we are praying for you Mike", people I had not spoken too in weeks or months, they knew and were praying.
Got a phone call from a man, a friend of a friend, I didn't even know. He wanted to share anything about his experience with prostate surgery that might help me.
A friend at church came up to tell me he had already been down the road I am turning on to and if he could do anything to help, let him know. He offered to let me read his journal.
I have already gotten many cards and notes from people at church, just lending their support and friendship and assuring me I am in their prayers.
Sunday evening at a Chrysalis Event, Chris Westmoreland came up to me, gave me a big ole Chris hug and said "we are so praying for you". He is such a nice guy.
Preacher have been praying for me....Rick, Jimmy Howard, Bob Jack, Gail Montgomery, Bird McCormick, Patience Brumley, Chris W. and others Im sure I dont even know.
Ive been told I am on prayer lists from Beulaville, NC to Ocoee, Florida to Dallas, Texas and countless points in between. Prayer is a mighty powerful thing.
This morning....what an incredible outpouring of love and support. Our regular Tuesday morning breakfast meeting for bible study and prayer....we filled up the who room...14 people - my family of friends were there to pray for me, pray with me, hug me, encourage me and yes, even cry with me. Yes, Donna Stroupe and Ronna Privette and Brenda ALL got up and came to breakfast, just for me ! What a great feeling. It is difficult at times to accept so much love and support. I do much better on the giving side than being on the recieving side. It is just one bright star in a sky full of stars, blessings that God gives me, has given me for no other reason than he just loves me and has put these wonderful people in my life to show it on His behalf.
Later today I go for my pre-op visit with the hospital and begin the "purge". I am so not looking forward to that part but by tomorrow this time, I wont even care !
eeny-meeny-miney-mo
It was not as simple as eeny-meeny-miney-mo.....I thought and prayed and thought and prayed and finally decided that for me, the best option is surgery, the radical prostatectomy. My prostate and seminal vessicules will be removed during the surgery. It is a decision that my wife and family and friends totally support and once told, my docs agreed they too think it is the best option for me. With my current pathology and age and overall good health condition, it should leave me with the best results. So, one big hurdle is conquered. I felt better immediately after I said the words to the doc, I want to do the surgery. Now, how to make the schedules work. I have already planned a trip to the beach with my sons and grandchildren to fish, we do it every year actually. That was going to be Oct 30th thru Nov 5th and then I was taking Momma and Daddy to Norfolk, Va for a USNavy function for retired personnel that would keep be busy til late on Sunday Nov 9th. So....I asked Dr Polsky's wonderful scheduling person, Jennifer, to set me up anytime Nov 12 or after. Within a few day, Jennifer called to confirm everything was set for Nov 12 at 7:00am at Lake Normal Regional Medical Center in Mooresville. I was so glad, I had a plan and so the clock could start the count-down.
Treatment Options
Man o Man...it was like a buffet of treatment options to choose from. They ranged from doing absolutely nothing( that is called Watchful Waiting) to the extreme. More techno-eese to learn...HIFU (High Intensity Focused Ultrasound) was one option. Two machines in the country are available for this treatment and one is in Charlotte. Thing is, it is still considered experimental by the FDA and not approved by insurance companies and with a cost of a mere $25,000.00 per treatment, I ruled it out right away. I told B I could have a real nice funeral for less than that...she failed to see the humor I had intended! Cyro procedures were mentioned and work opposite of the HIFU in that it freezes the affected area while HIFU heats it. Radioactive seeding, placing seeds directly into the prostate....I am not a good candidate for that because mine is to enlarged (mine is approx 65cc while most normal prostate glands are 35cc). The every popular radiation treatment....8 1/2 weeks of focused radiation. It would almost certainly kill the cancer cells in the prostate but the downside is that it may damage other areas and/or organs close to the prostate. Another downside to radiation, if future surgery is required in this area it would be difficult. I have analogized it as being like melting a milk carton over something and then trying to peel it off.
I had the opportunity to see a Radiologist/Oncologist, and he too was very honest about the possible side effects of radiation. I made an appointment to go and see my favorite doc, Dr Temple Day ( I just love her). She was patient and caring and gave me as much information as she could but like all the others docs, would not say what she thought I should do. She gave me a hug when I left and assured me it would be OK
Jerry and I were still working every day, between doc appointments and one job we went to was for a Mr Johnston. After a few hours there and some conversation I asked Mr Johnston what he did for a living, what was his claim to fame. He told me that if he had wanted to spend the money on one of them fancy license plates for his car, it would have said " 2 P C Me" I did not get the meaning right away so he told me he was a retired doctor, a urologist. God is still working aint he? I had about 4 days worth of consultation and countless stories about cases of prostate cancer that Dr Johnston had dealt with in a 40+ year career. Like the others, he never told me what I should do, just to take my time, weigh my options and do what was best for me.
I had the opportunity to see a Radiologist/Oncologist, and he too was very honest about the possible side effects of radiation. I made an appointment to go and see my favorite doc, Dr Temple Day ( I just love her). She was patient and caring and gave me as much information as she could but like all the others docs, would not say what she thought I should do. She gave me a hug when I left and assured me it would be OK
Jerry and I were still working every day, between doc appointments and one job we went to was for a Mr Johnston. After a few hours there and some conversation I asked Mr Johnston what he did for a living, what was his claim to fame. He told me that if he had wanted to spend the money on one of them fancy license plates for his car, it would have said " 2 P C Me" I did not get the meaning right away so he told me he was a retired doctor, a urologist. God is still working aint he? I had about 4 days worth of consultation and countless stories about cases of prostate cancer that Dr Johnston had dealt with in a 40+ year career. Like the others, he never told me what I should do, just to take my time, weigh my options and do what was best for me.
1st Doc visit after the diagnosis
I was able to move up my appointment to Thursday after I had found out on Tuesday. It was a 4:00 appointment and we both went. Doctor Polsky came in with papers, some for me and some he read from. It was the results of the biopsy. There were 5 piece of paper stapled together and the front sheet contained pictures and graphs and lots of "doctor-eese". The word my eyes were drawn to was on the right side, half way down....in bold type and bookended with asterics ***MALIGNANT*** That was the one word on that page that I knew exactly what meant.
Doctor Polsky was so good, so patient and so caring. Im sure he had done this many time but he made me, made us feel that we were special, he cared especially for me and my situation. I guess that was the first of many times God would show his face through others. We talked of options and treatment plans and yes, even had a few more tears, Brenda was not doing well with this thing so far. I left that day with a book, two DVDs and my mind full of more information than I thought I would ever need or want to know about prostates and prostate cancer.
My family knew I was supposed to go to see the doc on Monday so seeing him on Thursday before gave me some time to prepare for how and when I will tell them. I think telling my sons was the most difficult of all. The are both very different men and express their emotions differently. We all handled it well and I did not cry, my greatest fear in having to tell them. The both asked if there is anything they could do, promised to help me/us in any way they could and accepted my reassurance that everything would be OK. Telling Momma and Daddy was hard too but again, I kept it together and the same with brother Dean. I am so lucky to have a family that I know loves me in spite of all my failures and the many times I have disappointed them. My daughters-in-law have called and been supportive and my sister-in-law too. Most times I feel like they are not inlaws at all...they are really family. My inlaws in Florida have called and given their support too. Brenda's Dad Gene is a prostate cancer survivor now. I have finally told them all that we will have no more tears, no sappy stuff and sentimental accounts of days gone by or yet to come. As a matter of fact, I gave Brenda til 10:00 PM on Thursday night to be done with it! NO MORE TEARS !
Doctor Polsky was so good, so patient and so caring. Im sure he had done this many time but he made me, made us feel that we were special, he cared especially for me and my situation. I guess that was the first of many times God would show his face through others. We talked of options and treatment plans and yes, even had a few more tears, Brenda was not doing well with this thing so far. I left that day with a book, two DVDs and my mind full of more information than I thought I would ever need or want to know about prostates and prostate cancer.
My family knew I was supposed to go to see the doc on Monday so seeing him on Thursday before gave me some time to prepare for how and when I will tell them. I think telling my sons was the most difficult of all. The are both very different men and express their emotions differently. We all handled it well and I did not cry, my greatest fear in having to tell them. The both asked if there is anything they could do, promised to help me/us in any way they could and accepted my reassurance that everything would be OK. Telling Momma and Daddy was hard too but again, I kept it together and the same with brother Dean. I am so lucky to have a family that I know loves me in spite of all my failures and the many times I have disappointed them. My daughters-in-law have called and been supportive and my sister-in-law too. Most times I feel like they are not inlaws at all...they are really family. My inlaws in Florida have called and given their support too. Brenda's Dad Gene is a prostate cancer survivor now. I have finally told them all that we will have no more tears, no sappy stuff and sentimental accounts of days gone by or yet to come. As a matter of fact, I gave Brenda til 10:00 PM on Thursday night to be done with it! NO MORE TEARS !
The Waiting Game Part 1 begins
What a relief to have that part of this journey over with. Compared to the pain and discomfort so many cancer patients endure, I know mine was tiny...but to me, it was a HUGE thing. While the results of the procedure were still days away, the effects from it began almost immediately. There was blood where blood should not have been. It was not painful anymore but a bit unsettling to see things that to me were just "not natural". The docs and nurses warned me of what to expect and once again, they were right on target. I was normal, my body was responding normally and my reaction to it was pretty much normal too.
The weekend came and went and Monday was a new work day. I had to wait another whole week before I would know the results of the biopsy and see the doctor. With all the advancements in modern medicine and technology it seemed like a long time to wait but I was gonna be patient. On Tuesday, Sept. 23rd Jerry and I were working on a wheelchair ramp at a home off Hwy 115 outside of Huntersville when my phone rang. It was a number I did not recognize but I did answer it. The voice on the other end identified himself as Dr Polsky. After a momentary exchange of greetings and niceties, he began by saying how he did not like calling patients but felt it best to let me know now instead of waiting anxiously for another week that the results were in and I did in fact have prostate cancer. Once again, hearing my name and cancer in the same sentence just seemed impossible. I kept my best manly voice and thanked the doctor and said I would see him in a few days. I walked back to our project and Jerry asked, "what's going on?" I told him, the first person and the first time in my life that I have prostate cancer. Jerry was stilled....took off his cap and wiped his forehead...I dont remember exactly what he said. I know we had alot of conversation the rest of that afternoon but I cant remember any of it right now. The thing I do remember is Jerry stopping right before we left for the day and putting his hand on my shoulder and praying for me.
It was a Tuesday afternoon and tonight was United Methodist Men's meeting and Brenda's circle was feeding us that night. I know I did not want "it" to become a topic of discussion and I did not have the time between work and the meeting to properly tell Brenda either. I decided to keep it to myself. Once the meeting was over I got Rick in the back of the room and told him. I also told him to keep it to himself for the rest of the night as I had not told Brenda yet. He prayed for me right there too. On the way home I knew I needed to tell B so I turned the radio off. That prompted an immediate "what cha do that for?" from B. I told her the doctor had called this afternoon and the results showed I have prostate cancer. Once again, I cannot recall what if any conversation we had that night. I know there were tears and hugs......
The weekend came and went and Monday was a new work day. I had to wait another whole week before I would know the results of the biopsy and see the doctor. With all the advancements in modern medicine and technology it seemed like a long time to wait but I was gonna be patient. On Tuesday, Sept. 23rd Jerry and I were working on a wheelchair ramp at a home off Hwy 115 outside of Huntersville when my phone rang. It was a number I did not recognize but I did answer it. The voice on the other end identified himself as Dr Polsky. After a momentary exchange of greetings and niceties, he began by saying how he did not like calling patients but felt it best to let me know now instead of waiting anxiously for another week that the results were in and I did in fact have prostate cancer. Once again, hearing my name and cancer in the same sentence just seemed impossible. I kept my best manly voice and thanked the doctor and said I would see him in a few days. I walked back to our project and Jerry asked, "what's going on?" I told him, the first person and the first time in my life that I have prostate cancer. Jerry was stilled....took off his cap and wiped his forehead...I dont remember exactly what he said. I know we had alot of conversation the rest of that afternoon but I cant remember any of it right now. The thing I do remember is Jerry stopping right before we left for the day and putting his hand on my shoulder and praying for me.
It was a Tuesday afternoon and tonight was United Methodist Men's meeting and Brenda's circle was feeding us that night. I know I did not want "it" to become a topic of discussion and I did not have the time between work and the meeting to properly tell Brenda either. I decided to keep it to myself. Once the meeting was over I got Rick in the back of the room and told him. I also told him to keep it to himself for the rest of the night as I had not told Brenda yet. He prayed for me right there too. On the way home I knew I needed to tell B so I turned the radio off. That prompted an immediate "what cha do that for?" from B. I told her the doctor had called this afternoon and the results showed I have prostate cancer. Once again, I cannot recall what if any conversation we had that night. I know there were tears and hugs......
Monday, November 10, 2008
Note to Self: Take the valium sooner
Friday, September 19, 2008 was the appointment for my prostate biopsy. I am not certain but feel reasonable confident that any procedure called "biopsy" has to be associated with discomfort and/or pain. THIS was no exception. I took the prescribed valium about 30 minutes prior to the schedule procedure with an expectation that I would be "loopy" most if not all of the procedure. NOT SO ! Without too many gruesome details let me try to explain what happens. An ultrasound probe is inserted rectally. This is used to give the doctore a picture of where exactly the prostate is located and to mark the sites for tissue removal. Another probe is inserted with a needle to anesthesize the prostate before the biopsy. Probe two removed, probe three enters equipped with some type of mechanism that removes 14 little pieces of my prostate one at a time. It was similar to how the little needle feels when you get your finger pricked at the doctors office or when you are giving blood. The sound right before that little needle stick reminded me of those little toy guns we used to get for a $1 that had the rubber suction tip darts fired from a spring loaded plastic pistol. The valium had NOT worked as I thought it would and I counted down each needle as it fired into my innards. At 7 I realized I was half way there, at 10 I was in double digits and then 12, then 13 and finally the last one. I has sucessfully wiped away the tears before I had to face the assistant who helped me up. I am so thankful for medicine and technology but I pray that is something I never have to go through again. For those of you who have know me for a while and know about the accident I had almost 3 years ago with a nailgun, shooting a nail into my hand....given the choice again in the future as to which I would rather have done, I would have to give it some serious thought!
Oh yea, the valium finally did kick in. We stopped for chinese on the way home, I had a few phone conversations and still do not remember any of it. I am told I can be pretty humorous when under the influence of controlled narcotics. Note to self: TAKE THE VALIUM SOONER NEXT TIME !
Oh yea, the valium finally did kick in. We stopped for chinese on the way home, I had a few phone conversations and still do not remember any of it. I am told I can be pretty humorous when under the influence of controlled narcotics. Note to self: TAKE THE VALIUM SOONER NEXT TIME !
Alphabet soup
In July this year I went in for a routine physical, including a blood work up. My doctor, Dr. Temple Day is just the greatest, I just love her. She made me just through all the hoops and prod and probes and told me that my prostate seemed enlarged and could explain some of my issues with nightime bathroom interruptions for the past 2 years. It is a condition called BPH (benign prostate hyperplasia). Without alarm, she said the blood work and PSA (prostate specific antigen) results would tell us if there is any other issues that need to be addressed. One week later, we got the results of the blood work and my PSA counts had risen from 1.1 the year before to 3.3 now. As a precautionary measure, she suggested it could be a low grade infection and decided to put me on anti-biotic for 3 weeks and then we'd re-test. A month later we did re-test and the PSA count had increased another point. A referral was made to a urologist.
A couple of weeks later I met Dr Stewart Polski for the first time in Huntersville. What a nice guy. He told me all the "stuff" about the prostate, how it works and why it may not work as well sometimes. His recommendation to me was a biopsy. This would tell us if there was cancer in my prostate. He explained how this procedure worked and we made an appointment. I searched on the internet for all and any information I could find and learned that what he had already told me was pretty much what was written on here. We were "on" and I was schedule for my first steps in what has become quite a journey.
A couple of weeks later I met Dr Stewart Polski for the first time in Huntersville. What a nice guy. He told me all the "stuff" about the prostate, how it works and why it may not work as well sometimes. His recommendation to me was a biopsy. This would tell us if there was cancer in my prostate. He explained how this procedure worked and we made an appointment. I searched on the internet for all and any information I could find and learned that what he had already told me was pretty much what was written on here. We were "on" and I was schedule for my first steps in what has become quite a journey.
My name is Mike Raynor, I am 55 years old, live in Charlotte, North Carolina and have been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. Never in my life did I think I would ever use my name in the same sentence with the word cancer. One thing I have learned about cancer, not just mine, is that it is not considerate of age, gender, race or any other "quality" we give ourselves as human beings.
Over the next few weeks and months I am going to try and chronicle my journey in my personal battle with this disease and the consequences associated with treatments options and recovery.
One question I have asked myself is "How does anyone go through this or any other cancer and treatment without faith in God and the support of family and friends?" Many of you have already heard me say that I know God is gonna to show, He is gonna to show off and I AM GONNA BE THE STAR OF THE SHOW ! (And you know how I love being the star of the show)
So, for those of you who share this journey with me, welcome! I am greatful we are here together. Your prayers and good wishes sent my way are welcomed and appreciated more than I can say. I feel blessed to be a part of something that is so much bigger than me.
One thank you I want to give first of all is to Michelle Brachten for pointing me in the right direction to try and get this blog created.
To my family and friends and my family of friends, thank you for loving me in spite of who I am sometime, I love you all !
OK, let the journey begin...................
Over the next few weeks and months I am going to try and chronicle my journey in my personal battle with this disease and the consequences associated with treatments options and recovery.
One question I have asked myself is "How does anyone go through this or any other cancer and treatment without faith in God and the support of family and friends?" Many of you have already heard me say that I know God is gonna to show, He is gonna to show off and I AM GONNA BE THE STAR OF THE SHOW ! (And you know how I love being the star of the show)
So, for those of you who share this journey with me, welcome! I am greatful we are here together. Your prayers and good wishes sent my way are welcomed and appreciated more than I can say. I feel blessed to be a part of something that is so much bigger than me.
One thank you I want to give first of all is to Michelle Brachten for pointing me in the right direction to try and get this blog created.
To my family and friends and my family of friends, thank you for loving me in spite of who I am sometime, I love you all !
OK, let the journey begin...................
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